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so sleep alone tonight
She wants to be happy.
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Beseech
Don't judge me.
I'm touchy, so be nice.
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IZYAN
HANISAH
KAK ILLY
SYUHADAH
JOHAN
NABEEL
HERLEEN
KELLY
SHIYUN
JIA
HUI
CHLOE
MR
PERRY LAI
WEI
JU
HAIKEL
SYAFIQAH
KRISTA
NAB
ILLAGORDON NALYSSA archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
Baby Dear<3
A post for my one&only man;Johan Neil Burhanuddin.  The one who likes to act cute in pictures.  The one who likes my hair down.  The one who says the sweetest things that get me weak on my knees, & mean every word he says.  The one who may not be gorgeous in your eyes, but he is in mine.  & yeahh, I was into the pouty pose at the moment. hehs(x  The one who never fails to make me feel dumb. Its hard when you have a boyfren who is better in language than you are.  The one who rocks my world.  The one who never gave up on me.  The one that I will always love, even if he looks pervertic in this picture. He is my knight in shining armor, my prince. Hurt him & I'll kick your ass. Moodless.
Today is Kent Ridge 8th Speech Day & Izie&I attended. Firstly we wanted to go so Izie asked Ms Lim if we are allowed into the school. Her reply was not what we expected from her. Seriously. Whatever. Dont want say anything bad about her since there's ppl who might just read this & inform her or stuff like that. She changed, that's all Im gonna say. ANYWAY, Dear invited us to go after he informed Mrs Tee[I have no idea who]. Yupp. So we arrived outside school, afraid of going in. Didnt know that our own school can be a threat to us. Tsk. So we approached one of the usher at the side gate. haha! Saw Peiwen from far & signalled her if we can go in. She asked Mr Yamin & we followed her to him. He looks goood! hahaha! wth. He told us that we can go up to the gallery. So sweet of him(: So yeah, we rushed to the gallery but we were panting after a portion of the 1st level flight of stairs.q-_-p'' What more to the 4th level? Its been long since we've climbed those flight of stairs la can? hahahahaha!(x So we went to the gallery. Sat there, trying to spot people we know from the award receipient side. Spotted Sarah, Chia Yee, Sammy, Sai, Gerri, some 4e6 ppl, Fyda, Jian Ping and Dear(: Lionel & Ben Goi came a few minutes after. haha. Its been ages since I've seen them! Ages I tell you! Yupp. Lionel, Goi & Izie went off to band room to visit those ppl there since they're from band, leaving me at the gallery cold & lonely. hahaa! Kidding. When they came back, Izie was like damn pissed. Their conductor if Im not mistaken slammed the door at them. Like WTF la! They said hi to him then he just looked at them without any respect & went into the band room & shut the door behind him. FCUK. They were freakin piss la. I felt pissed for them. Sheeshh! I mean, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO KR?? We fcuking contributed to the school for a whole of 4/5 years of our lives, did them proud & this is what we receive from you guys?? I thought it's been always 'Once a Kent Ridgean, always a Kent Ridgean.' But NOOOOOO! You guys dont even allow us to attend any of the events. You even chase us out during camps. Do you know how hurt we felt? FCUK. All of these are getting on my nerves. I'll shut now. It's so good to see them receiving their awards on stage. I feel so proud of them(: Izie&I went for refreshments after the whole thing. The food was good. haha! Met with SOMEONE & that SOMEONE doesnt seem happy that we're there. Whatever. Caught up with Sammy, Sarah, Chia Yee & Sai. Ohoh! Ms Wan was there tooo! Omgomg! I miss herrrr!! My one&only fave form teacher & also Amaths teacher. I LOVE HER!(: She looks good but just a lill weary. I think it's from the travelling. Also caught up with Mrs Soh! OMG. Her baby is soo cute! My condolences to her heartbreaking news. I just hope her son will grow into a healthy kid(: God's will. Mrs Sim was there tooo!! Her baby is just as cute! haha! Baby galore!(x Im glad that she finally managed to conceive(: Sighhs. Happy moments. Ate with Ms Fahizah & we[us, councillors] sat together with her to chat. We gossiped. haha! SHHH!(x I needed to off from there since I had plans with Dear. He wasnt in a good mood. I straightened things out with him. Ended up at WCC & we continued our talk. Didnt go to where we're supposed to cuz of some issues. Sighhs. Went to WCP instead since Fyda they all are there. haha! Sorry for the delay guys. Arrived there after a hot & humid long walk. Greeted by the smiley faces which belongs to Fyda, Aishah, Yas, Aliya, Izie & some guy. haha! The guy didnt smile though. Anw, I bought Double Choco Frappe which never fails to cheer me up & an apple pie. The Choco Frappe got me high & crazy. Had a blastful of laughters with those girls. I love them(: haha! I wish you guys all the best for your Os. I know you'll kick ass! Woohhooo!(x Thanks for the laughs guys. I needed those. Yas was talking to the ducks, well, she's TRYING to communicate with the ducks. I mistaken a dog for a kambing[goat]. Fyda was poked by Aliya's umbrella. Aishah was our all-time fave lampost.[Fyda kena framed(x], Izie was there as our spectator. hahahahaha! FUNNY BUNCH(: Its hard for one to be accepted into another's family. It is agreed that one is a nobody to another's family. So one cannot take advantage or be overly-enthusiastic or be too comfortable with the other's. You will never know when they will just turn their back on you. Not refering to anyone, btw. Im just speaking my mind & what my mom had adviced me on. I'll take my mom's advice seriously. I wont do those things. Cuz one will not know if there is a possibility that he/she will achieve his/her dream of marrying their significant other. There are so many obstacles in life that we need to go through. People said things which they meant, make promises to one another but we actually have no idea what will happen in the near future. It's all in God's hands. All we can do is to ask him for the best & ask him to lead us to the correct path in life. We have no control on whatever comes. My mom always say that friends come & go. I never did want to believe any of that. I was in denial. & as I get older; every second, every minute, I realised that it is true. Is it because Im not putting in much effort to keep things going? Or maybe, Im not a good friend? I seriously have no idea. I did my best in keeping my friendships going. Maybe jealousy got the best of me. Maybe Im feeling insecure since all of us went our seperate ways. Maybe I didnt do the very best that I should be doing. I dont know how to feel any longer. I dont know if I should give up. I wonder if I should give up. However, i dont want to. I dont know. Maybe, I am not a good friend after all. So much for a lifetime. IM FIRST(:
If your lover betrayed you, what would be your reaction?Be the first one to walk away. If you had 3 wishes, what will that be? Give my mom a good life, excel in my poly life & be successful in both worlds. To be a singer or an actor/actress? Singer please. Are you afraid of what lies ahead of you? Yup. Scared to death. Would you change yourself for the person you love? No. One should love the other for who they really are. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone? Being loved(: How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love? For as long as it takes. If the person you secretly liked is already attached, what would you do? Let him be, catch glances of him still once in awhile(x Is there anything that made you unhappy these days? My laziness. Do you get butterflies in your stomach whenever you're around the guy/girl you like? Yup!(: Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Uh-huh. Who are currently the most important people to you? Mom, Dear & my precious ones. It never changes. Have you ever wanted someone but you knew you couldn't? I guess...oh yeah! I have. Do you like studying? Not right now, NO. Are you happy with your life? I will be if I get my freaking lazy ass to work! Would you give all in a relationship? Totally. If you fall in love with 2 persons simultaneously, who would you pick?the lousiest one? OR the better one? Umm...for people who is in the right state of mind, it should be the better one. Sheeshh. Fill in the blank.__________ makes people in relationship difficult to handle but it also makes it beautiful. I have no idea. Seriously. Do you often wish there was something you could change? Yeah, my laziness. See how it's pissing me off? What do you notice when you first meet a guy/girl? Hair. haha! People whom i tagging to do the quiz. 1. Hanisah 2. Nabilla 3. Kelly 4. Chloe 5. Shi Yun I am dying.
I need to get my ass up & working. Im slacking too much. I can take it anymore. I dont want to repeat any modules anymore. Fcuk, if I fail my POA ICA1, I need to hand in my tutorials. SEVEN of them! Fcuk. I didnt even do or save even 1. This is what you get for slacking & not doing what you're supposed to. I kept advicing the people around me to do well, but look at me! FCUK. I need to do something about myself. I cant go on like this. IM DYING........inside & out. Can someone save me, please?)": & Im missing him. It hurts. I cant even msg him cuz my prepaid is out. Both of us are busy with school & all. I dont want to distract him from Os. So im trying my best to wait patiently till the next time we meet. Trust me, its hard. Its hard cuz we always see each other alot & when we dont get to spend time just for a day, we'll miss each other like hell. Therefore, we're trying to not make it a habit. Can 3years go by in a flash please? I dont want to go through these hardship any longer. I think I give up. CHANGI TERMINAL 3.
Last Thursday was BLISS. Went to WCP & spent sometime with Dear cuz I gotta make up to him since I've screwed up plans & duh, of course to see him again. Didnt get to see him for 4days. & we spent them by quarrelling. q-_-p'' Yeahh, after that went to Changi Airport Terminal 3 with Izie & Kel. JYEAH! Ate Popeyes! YUMYUM. Best fries EVER. Okay, gonna upload pics. Borrowed Dear's cam which went.....missing. I DIDNT DO IT. I swear. Im gonna miss that cam of his. Sighhs. I feel your pain, dear. The sky is so magnificent.  Nice aye? Like duhh, I took it mahhh.  How cool is that?? Only the cup is glowing in the sunlight.  In the company of the ones they love.  & I saw that you have left your footsteps behind.  Izie scrapped out the O. hahaha! SHHH!  The man who had a dream & still trying to achieve.  & she held onto it for one last time.  & her favourite irritant was rescued.  When it is free from humans stampeed.  & they are each other's favourites.  & she only kisses her precious ones(:  & she thinks,"What should I eat?" IM POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN! TUTTUT!  Concentrating on how to drink.  My love(:  The bunny tooth smile. CLASSIC(:  She was trying not to freak out at her own reflection.  Travellator.  He didnt warn me when the escalator ended. Idiot.   Yup! CHANGI AIRPORT. I missed my flight to London. Dammit!  PEACE. That's all we need.  & it was all a blur.  No studying. THANK YOU!  The love that they're experiencing, PRICELESS.  & he wants to be a pilot when he grows up.  A young traveller. Dont look down on them please.  He achieved his dream of kissing the sun.  & that is the sun which led us home. I KICK MY BOYFRIEND'S ASS AT TAKING PICTURES. You know I do(: shit.
I have a latest post but it cant be seen q-_-p''ughhh. Trust me Ive tried alot of times. But it just doesnt come out!! Videos!
Found some videos from Kent Ridge.4N4`07 graduation day. I can remember what the others gossiped when some of the people there went up the stage. hahaah! I remember how we all felt at that moment. Sighhs. 4N4`07. Aishah's class. I think they have made quite on impact on the teachers. Esp Mr Perry Lai. This should be teachers' day. haha! Mr Chan sooo cute la! hahah! I miss them so muchh!!! This is Mustafa's batch. A tribute to Ms Chamb after they graduated. sighhs. Kent Ridge has changed my life. It's where I've found my best friends & my other half. That is also where I get to know amazing people who have touched my lives,my teachers. I love Kent Ridge Sec & always will(: Im screwed.
What Wei Ern said was so true. Im sorry. I really am.Im an ass to cancel it. I just dont know what to do right now. ughh. Just dont be surprise.
"I've fallen in love,Im in love & yet I am so afraid of love." Its from a Hindustan song. hahs. Watching Hindustan right now. Gotta get my mind of things. The movie is about these 3 childhood frens. 2 girls, one guy. Tina, Pooja, Raj. The guy, Raj, likes Tina but she doesnt at that point of time since they are only like so little? yeahh. So Raj has to migrate to London. Asked Tina to email him everyday. However, Tina couldnt care less. So her fren, Pooja, helped her email the guy. Pooja likes him la but the guy didnt know. So she emailed him each and every time using Tina's name. 15 years passed, & the 2 who had been emailing each other fell in love through those years communicating. The only thing is Raj doesnt know that it's Pooja who wrote those emails & not Tina. So as the time came for them to meet up again, Raj told Tina that her image is in his heart & that he will recognise her at the moment he sees her. So yeahh, Pooja asked Tina to pretend that she wrote those emails to Raj. Pooja wants it to be a secret. When Raj & his family arrived, he walked towards both the girls. Pooja was really hoping that Raj will stop infront of her but he just walked past her not even glancing her way. Raj stopped infront of Tina instead. Hmph. So much for having her image in his heart. Ass. Just because Tina is much prettier than Pooja. Guys can be such asses. Anw, Tina fell in love with Raj & Raj alr fell in love with Tina through those emails. Yadayadayada. The time came when Pooja & Raj went to London for some things. & they were at the church. They are bestfrens btw. So yeahh, Pooja sang a tune at the church. The tune was shared by Raj through the emails. Raj sang it once to Tina when they were ordering food. But Tina didnt know so she just ignored. Raj heard Pooja singing the tune & he immediately knew that Pooja was the one who emailed him & not Tina. Raj insisted strongly that they should be together instead. So yeahh, they did after much persuasion from Raj & when they got back home, Tina's dad passed away. So Pooja didnt want to hurt Tina anymore than she is at that moment, so she backed off. Tina has lost so much & so, she doesnt want her bestfren to lose more. Sighhs. Such a good fren. Pooja sacrifice her love for frenship. Raj insisted for them to reveal the true story to their parents and Tina. But Pooja stood her ground. She doesnt want to reveal the truth. So Raj made her promise that they MUST marry on the same day. Raj&Tina, Pooja&someone else. Raj wants her to promise that she will find someone else to love. & then he will not reveal anything to them. So yeahh, Pooja still stood her ground, & she agreed. Raj tried his best to make Pooja jealous & all. yadayadayada. In order for Raj to know that Pooja is really dead serious about leaving things as it is, Raj found someone else for her. So Pooja agreed to marry Raj's fren so that Raj will back off. & Raj did. He was hurt, duhh. But he couldnt do anything about it. So yeahh. The wedding commenced nonetheless. Tina found out that they are in love instead, so Tina also sacrifice her love for frenship. So yeahh, the movie end with a happy ending. Pooja & Raj got married. Okay, it is my fault. Im sorry. But I just need you to understand the state Im in. I havnt seen him in freakin ages. Cant I just spend some time with him? It's not like we're not gonna meet? I mean Ive spent as much time with you whenever it's possible. Not that it is enough. It is never enough. I grabbed evey chances there are. Yes, I did ditch you. We did make plans beforehand but I asked him to go out with me since like the past few weeks? & it seemed like thursday is the only day that is possible. Im trying my best to balance out my time here. Im trying. I know it's no use apologizing anymore. Its your call now. All I want from you is just to understand. Nothing more. Dont be surprise if Im nowhere to be found. I feel so bad):
Spposed to have lunch with Hanie but my mom wouldnt let me go!Im sooo sorry hanie!): Another time pls? sighhs..I know its gonna be difficult to meet up again since you're always busy & all. Oh well. Now that Im stuck at home for the day, I need to get my ass working on my projects! ughhh. I actually teared.
SoFyA; KILL ME. SHOOT ME. BITE ME. says:wat u doing now? -jOhAn- -me mr. spaceman, me walk on moooon!!- you asshack! says: updated? -jOhAn- -me mr. spaceman, me walk on moooon!!- you asshack! says: nthg SoFyA; KILL ME. SHOOT ME. BITE ME. says: nope. hold on -jOhAn- -me mr. spaceman, me walk on moooon!!- you asshack! says: thinkin of u actully while falling asleep -jOhAn- -me mr. spaceman, me walk on moooon!!- you asshack! says: not tt u are boring me -jOhAn- -me mr. spaceman, me walk on moooon!!- you asshack! says: its the only way i get to see u when im not ard u Is that sweet or do I have to redefine the meaning of sweet in my dictionary? Goshh...it brought tears to my eyes. I love him. I do(': Izie is loved(:
Today is totally bliss la! Ive spent my day with my love, Izie(: Thanks for the oh-so huge gums! We MUST have an outing at Malaysia. After Poly k?(x Cant wait!So we went to JE to have ice-cream. Spposed to have KFC since she wanted to try the new wrap thingy but I was full from eating rice. My mom ar! Next time k? So sorry/: We bought our ice-cream & went to the ice-skating rink. It was almost empty!! Ughh! I wanna ice-skate please?? Asked Izie to complete one of the survey for me. hehe. Damn! Im slacking my ass off can?? Shit you, lazyness! After eating, we made our way to Kent Ridge. I played Izie's PSP on the way there(x hehe. We stepped into the school & went to the office to get our testimonial. the testi looks damn good lor! So professional. Woohoo! So damn proud!(: Met Dear outside the office. Chatted for abit. He was having his break from the 3days course. 8am to 9pm. Tell me if it's not ridiculous? Sheeshh. But yeah, I know. It's worth while. So far, we've met with Mr Ngoh, Mr Nizam, Ms SUJEETHA, Mr Yamin...yupp. Ms Sujeetha seems a lill different. mmm-hhmm. Caught up with some of them. After the office, we went ventured around school. I miss it so so much)": Memories hit the back of our heads so hard. Sighhs. Met up with some of the Sec 4s. We went to the canteen, & met a group of teachers there having their lunch. Ms Kai was there(: whee! I miss her. So yeahh. Caught up with her for awhile. We continued our journey [haha!], & walked outside the hall when we saw Ms Fahizah at a distance. We ran & after her, shouted her name. haha! & she U-turned to us. Talked a lill & Ms Lim CL came up & joined us. haha! Those 2 are so funny la! Cartoon sak! Ms Fahizah was like,'Izyan, you look different. Are you in love?' hahaaha! Cute sakk. Ms Lim was like,'I noe, you noe' hahaha! Then when they turned their attention to me, Ms Fahizah was like,'This one is in good hands. Are they still together?' She asked Ms Lim. Ms Lim was like,'I think so. I heard they are.' hahaha! Teachers gossip only ar! So they went off, & we went to the 6th level. Reminiscing our way through. Walked past the I-forgot-what-the-room-is-called room & the 5N is in there. Saw Jia Qi! haha! We went to the toilet. Our oh-so tresured toilet. Miss the scenery & the wind. Sighhs. The 5N had their break & Fyda&Yas were running towards us! haha! While Aishah walked & yawned. ahhaah! I MISS THEMMM!!! Omg. The councillors are demanding for an outing! But we dont have the time. ughh! Izie&I chilled for awhile & went off at ard 4? yeah, took sometime to decide on where to go next. So ended up gg to cheese prata shop!(: Ate there & sat ard for almost 2 hours. Izie gotta wait for Ron to end school. Meantime, we cracked our heads on planning outings. yupyup! & chewed on our straws. JYEAH. Now I've found someone who likes to bite straws too!(x Izie has been the best company ever(: Thanks my love! I love love youuu!  Happy Goober!  She was really enjoying it!  US(:  Can you guess where we were?  The corridor. 4E6 & 4E7.  The water cooler.  The ambience.  The scenery & the wind.  The block where I get to see Dear who was my bestfren at that moment(:  Memories filled our eyes.  & yeah, she was sad. I didnt asked her to pose her sad face for me. Really. She's bummed out by the flat side of her head(x  That's the one who yawned & strolled her way towards us; Aishah(:  Yasmin!(: [My hair getting on my nerve.]  5N classrooms. Where my fatass was across me. |
