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so sleep alone tonight
She wants to be happy.
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Beseech
Don't judge me.
I'm touchy, so be nice.
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IZYAN
HANISAH
KAK ILLY
SYUHADAH
JOHAN
NABEEL
HERLEEN
KELLY
SHIYUN
JIA
HUI
CHLOE
MR
PERRY LAI
WEI
JU
HAIKEL
SYAFIQAH
KRISTA
NAB
ILLAGORDON NALYSSA archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
Back on track.
Okay, been MIA for pass 2 days? haha. Too tired to go online. Hehs. Friday; Went to KR teacher's day celebration which is just a total waste of my freakin time. UGH. The performances sucks & we ex-KentRidgeans cant go anywhere else but to stay in the gallery. What kinda rule is that? Sheeshhh. & I tell you, it's like a prison watching these kids perform. But the most CLASSIC is the one that Shafiq,Beel & I laughed at. Damn funny can? OMG. So yeah, Kris came & we were like BFF. haha! Miss her la. Haikel came at ard 12.40 too. Chilled at the canteen, a particular spot where we studied for our Os. Sighhs. Priceless memories. Yupp, then went to market to meet up with Baby,Ron&Izie since we've got plans. Watched 4bia. Yes, that scariest movie of all time. Like I told you I was closing my eyes & ears the whole time. haha. Even a big guy like my boyfriend was like screaming. HAHA. The theater was just full of screams. Goshh. Went home after buying food for mom. Saturday; Went for Baby's grandparents chalet at Sentosa. The day didnt go as we planned. But his grandparents are nice. & now i know what it means by 'grandfather's stories'. haha! no offence. His grandma so fit can? Even if she's like 60plus? Something like Peck Joon ar. yupyup. Anw, just when we wanted to have a stroll but it started to pour after we walked like less then 5-6 metres? There was shelter, thank God. When the rain subsided, we went back to the chalet. haha! oh well. Sat there in my lost little world. Didnt really know what to do. Listen to them talk but most of the time I was staring into blank spaces. His mom called me a dreamer. Which is true. & Grandpa thinks that its not wrong. haha! & yes, I'll keep on dreaming(: Went off from there ard 6.30? Both of us felt so....i cant think of the word right now, haha. Baby suggested that I tag him along to his class since he'll only be there for 5mins. So yeah, I did. I was so bothered for the whole day even before the chalet. I didnt know why. I felt damn restless. My favourite part of the day was from the moment we made our way to Clem to his class. He kept a smile on my face all the way from Clem to West Coast, when he went home & changed since he felt so dry & dirty from the BBQ, to sending me home. He is the cutest, maybe not in your eyes but he is in mine(: So the day didnt end that badly. Sunday[today]; Breakfast at Macs with Baby. & spent quite some time with him today. 1 month, Baby. Only 5 Mondays. We can get through it(: Thank you for the moments that you've spent with me for these past 3 days. Had a very bad start when we met. [& there goes that 'three cheers for five years' song again.] It really hurts when we have to fight over these things. I just dont want us to part because of the same freakin reason again. 4 times is more than enough, dont you think? Im glad we made up in the end. Why do we always talk things out in buses? haha! & its not your fault that the day didnt went so well for us. It ended perfectly. & again, you made me fall deeper for you. I'll miss listening to your heart beats, I'll miss being in your arms, I'll miss you making a fool out of yourself. Let's not break any rules. & be good Muslim people for this coming month. If we are fated to be together, then nothing will seperate us. Not even a month. I love you.   We rock our world!   My boyfriend's goofy-ness;      I put it in!!What you gonna do about it??     HAPPY FASTING PEOPLE(: MURDERER.
There was a murder case around my area. It was at the bustop just across my flat. 1 caught, 2 missing. FCUK. Im scared please? Its like after watching that shocking-spine-chilling-fcuking-scary movie, 4bia. After watching it, you'll have fcuking nightmares la!! UGH. I was covering my ears & eyes the whole way through the last part of the movie. ASS. & now, I can still remember the freakin scenes. Dammit. Anyway, on the way home, my mom & my aunt kept calling me. I didnt pick up since I didnt hear my phone ring. When I reached home, my mom was like scolding me & telling me about the murder case. IT ADD ON TO MY POOR LITTLE SCARED SOUL. [haha!] Im like imagining what will happen if I set my feet out of my house. I hope these policemen catch the other 2 soon. Scary shit. Okay, gonna blog again later at night. Now gotta get ready to go out with my baby(: A tribute to my precious.
Im browsing through all the pictures in my comp, & they bring tears to my eyes right now.On a serious note; I am so grateful that God has let me meet people who has touched my life in one way or another. From my primary school friends, to my secondary school friends, to them becoming special people in my life, to our fights, disagreements, to me not fitting in when Im in Sec 1&2, to them accepting me finally, haha. They are really special people. I type these words as tears running down my cheek. I mean evey word I say. [according to my photos arrangement] Nur Hanisah Bte Zulkifli has been the greatest, despite our conflicts we had from sec 3 till now. She has been there for me throughout. Im so grateful, Hanisah. I really am. Thank you so much(": I will try my best to be there for you too. Just remember that you dont need a man to be happy. the most important thing in a girl's life is her friends cuz guys can just come & go whenever & wherever. Im there in your heart, always. I hope I will still be there in 10 years time. Izyan Liyana Bte Mohd Rashid, you are a gift from God to me. As you know, I dont keep any grudges against you after how u LIARSH treated me. haha! We were so young back then. Im glad that throughout those years, we've became the closest. You really have made such an impact in my life. Thank you for sticking by me even after whatever we went through. I am so damn grateful that Im a part of your life right now. I hope I will still be in 10 years time. I love you(": Mohd Haikel Bin Mohd Shah, you are just the best guy friend I have ever had. Even if we are seperated in different schools, you are still in my heart. I still feel you. Thank you for having so much trust in me. I didnt know Im that trustable. haha! Im always here for you. Just a phone call away. I miss talking to you over the phone like we used to. haha. I hope our bitter past in sec1&2 are behind us. How we hated each other back then. & now, we became so close. Please do take care of yourself. I love you so much(": [&& yes, Im still DRAMATIC.] Johan Neil Bin Burhanuddin, you're always the last on my list. & Ive always said that, save the best for the last. haha! Just as Im typing this to you, the song 'Three cheers for five years' is playing on my Windows Media Player. haha. What a coincidence. But for us, it's Three Cheers For Five MONTHS. haha! Baby, I thank you for not giving up on me. If you ever did, we wont be sharing this love we have right now. I couldnt ask for anyone better. You are the best. I feel the connection between us. & my vision of us being together came true. I can see us in the future. I should set up a future-reading shop. haha. You arent perfect & if you are, there's just so lill of you for me to love. But you're not, & so, I have your flaws to love too. Like they said, if you truly love someone, you will learn to love their flaws too. & THATS A NOTE FOR YOU! Im not perfect, so pls dont expect so much for me. How do you want me to show my love for you? By not talking about any other guys, by not looking at them[Ive cut down on looking at them ok?], by.....what?? Sighhs. Its gonna be a hell of a ride, baby. I'll pray that we'll hold on till the end cuz I dont want anyone else but you. I love you(": I hope that my relationships with each & every one of them will las a lifetime. Yes, I am really hoping for this. Insyaallah. In 10 years time, we will still be just as close. Pray with me, pls? FINALLY.
Gonna go Bugis with my lovely Izyan today!!Wooohhoo! Im going out like FINALLY, after 2days at home. Sheeshh. Watched That 70's Show[Ashton is just so hot. But I prefer Eric in that particular show. His character makes him hot. Ashton is just so dumb.], After Sex[movie], Grease[movie] all of them online. haha! At least my dearest lappie accompanied me throughout those 2 days of loneliness while my mom went to work. Today Bugis, 2mr KR Teachers' Day Celebration with Hanie, then go fetch Izie & then go double which is when I get to meet my boyfriend like FINALLY. It has been 1week plus since we've met? goshh. Sat will be spent with him too since we're not gna meet during Ramadhan. I hope I'll live. haha! Gonna work for a month, I REALLY hope I can get that office job! PLS GOD! I need a job!! Alan, my supervisor of the Poolside, said theres too many workers at the moment. & he said he'll slot me in after 7th Sept. Like walau!! I NEED A JOB NOW! sighhs. SOME ppl are just so selfishhh. [not refering to Alan, but SOMEONE else.] But whatever, Im over it. I need to have new experiences anw. Widen my knowledge yo! To HAIKEL; I read your blog & its so touching can? haha. Yes, you & your drama, but I know you meant it. I love you so much kel(': You are the bestest irritant bestfriend that I have ever had! Meet up soon k? Go buka tgt(: EH, you havnt send me the pics that we took with Izie in the train! hmph. && if you ever go party-ing, I WANNA GO TOO!!! Your friends are soo cool la! Party JC ppl! haha! Cant believe JC ppl are more wild, no offence. BRING ME ALONG NEXT TIME, PLS? hehe. lalala~ Meeting Izyan at 1.15 later. CANTWAITTT! Gonna meet up with her classmates toooo~ GREASE LIGHTING!
I AM SOOO INTO OLDIES RIGHT NOW!!GREASE is MY ALL-TIME FAVE! John Travolta is my first love(x 1987 BABEHH! OLDIES ROCKS MY WORLD (when I was much younger)!! WOHHOOO! Im SO gonna search for the damn VCD! I MISS WATCHING IT! ARGHHH! shit, the vid is blocking my tagboard..... gonna shift it lowerr, as you can see, im typing alot of crapp so that it wont block my tagboard. uh-huh. uh-huh. Shit. Im missing my boyfriend. & he's aint msging me. Ass. hmphh. Cant wait to go out 2mr with my IZYAN! lalalala~ Gonna shopshopshop! hehehehe(x goshhh, It's still blocking it! ughhh. getting on my nerve. lalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala lalalala. Do u think its enuf? I hope it is, Nope. Its not. Dammit. I need to change skin. Shld I? Okay, Im gonna hunt down for a KICK-ASS skin. when Im done watching Grease. Hehs. I still havnt read my book. shit. I forgot when is the due date. Oh well.
something's amiss.
Im feeling restless.I dont know why but I do. Fcuk. I need to go out. CANT WAIT FOR THURSDAY!!! I NEED TO MEET, [according to my meeting arrangements] `HANISAH `HAIKEL (if I get to meet him) `Coucillors && teachers of KR `IZYAN `MY BABY[VIP] lalalalalalalalalala~ Something's bothering me. WTF IS IT?! TEMPTATION.
Like what Hanie is going through right now, I am also DAMN TEMPTED to go wild&crazyyyyy! I want to go clubbing & just dance all my worries away. But I dont really wanna drink ar. Just dance&dance like crazy. I wanna party like WOAH! haha! I wanna be a girl gone wild for once. As if all these dont have any consequences in the future, ROCK OUT TILL I DROP DEAD. Sounds damn tempting cann? Me&Hanie also wants to go to the beach with bikini & shorts. After watching Victoria's Secret, all these 'I-wanna-be-like-her' thoughts running through our heads. They look oh-so perfect! & they know how to party! ARGH. My horns coming out liao. Shit. These are all just sinful thoughts. & I think I'll do them one day/: oh well. GIRLGONEBERSERK. & now you know why.    NIECE&NEPHEW GALORE.
Sunday went to my Woodland's aunt's house.It was niece & nephew galore! So cute la cannn??  SHE IS THE CUTEST. My nephew.  My nephew & niece. Another niece with her mommy. Eyes damn big laaa. I love it when babies sleep. They look so peaceful. Light up my sky.
 Light up my sky. The moment I saw you shooting up in the sky, it was the part, when you took my breath away. All these thoughts, worries, anger, running through my head throughout the whole day, you took them away. We look up to you, as you painted the black velvet sky with wonders of colors. Shaking the ground underneath, we didnt run, but stayed. Your beauty awed us, & rooted us to the ground. Hand-in-hand with my loved ones, you made me a happy little girl. & it was worth the wait. FIREWORKS BABY!
 I was one happy kid.Actually not quite ar...  SLUTTY! I likkkeee.....  I like this one!(:  ROCK ON BITHCES.Kinky Shafiq & I.   The picture nice cannn???Love the effect!   Shit.Should not have taken in threes. dammit.  Saturday was awesome yo! Firstly went to my bb aunt's. Wanted to visit my poor Izyan but she said it was okay. I hope she's fine now. Damn you portfoilo! haha! Okay, so went out with Hanisah & Shafiq at the late afternoon. We planned to go catch a movie. So we met up at Jurong platform & headed to Somerset. Fiq makes me laugh a whole lot can? Miss him so fcuking muchhhhh. yupyup! We checked out the tickets at Cine but dark knight was sold out fast. So sad laaa. Ended up watching Kallang Roar. It was okay laaa. Quite funny esp the malay actor. ahaha! Oh yeahh, I bumped into Reuben & his friend in Cine. HAHA! Was like so hyper when saw them laa. Okay so, after the movie it's the part I've been dreaming of doing since National Day, we went to esplanade for the FIREWORKS YO! damn happyyyyyy!! So we bussed our way there to esplanade & stood in the crowd. Camwhored while waiting for the fireworks to starts. So much for before 9 la! It started on 9.04? yeahh, & Im hating to be in crowded places. UGH. We almost went off while waiting for that bloody fireworks but Thank God, we stayed. It took my breath away. Sighhs. I felt like a lill kid while watching it. Yes, firworks are a great deal for me. Thank you Hanie&Fiq for making it happen(': I love you guys. Great company, great memories. It's all a deprived girl can ask for. haha! Anw, became quite bored with it & with TMN shouting, it got on our nerves. haha. So we went off & headed to Marina Square where Irsyad,Beel & Ahmad were. Walked through a huge crowd. Damn stuffy even though it was raining. Felt so claustrophobic. Made it to Starbucs & Hanie&I seperated from the guys from there. Walked all the way to the Mrt. What a day! What a day! What a day! Wish all my precious ones were there tooo! FINALLY, I GET TO SEE LIVE FIREWORKS! woooooohhhooooo!(x & lets get fcuked up and dieeeeeee. Outing with Hanie.
 Our resting place,where we took off our heels(x  Its been eons since we've camwhored.  Chocolate-Chip Frappe.STARBUCKS.  Our love is as deep as the sea. Pose for the camera, whores. haha! Okay, we are not whores.  My classic smile is so priceless(x  Strike a pose! Despite our aching feet,I am glad I can spend my time with her.  Puppy-eyes.BEDAZZLED.  She was in great pain. WOOOHOOO! Went out with my darling, Hanisah. & yeahh, she's the oh-so smart one to come up with the idea of wearing heels for the outing. q-_-p'' & she was complaining all the way about about her legs hurting. Haha! But really sia, poor thing. Her shoes are a lill big for me so I cant really help her much. We went to Far East to have lunch & otw there, in the train, saw Irsyad. Chatted with him. He seemed much friendly-er So yeahh, after lunch went to Esplanade. & chill at Starbucks. Had Chocolate-Chip Frappe. Overheard that there will be fireworks today & tomorrow. I was so pshyced of going for it. Notice the word 'was'. Walked quite a distance. We were nearly dragging our heels laa. haha. Until we took out our heels in the view of passer-bys. Hanie started it. haha! Camwhored here & there & everywhere. Fcuk. I suddenly dont feel like blogging. Anw, had a awesome time with Hanie(: Finally can go out with her la! haha! I love you Hanisah(: Izyan, I know you're stressed up about your work. Well, please hold on k, sayang? Yes, poly life sucks to the VERY MAXX. We have no choice but to go through all that. Dont stress up too much. Im here for you always(: Im sorry baby. You've always been going my way. So I'll go your way in return. I'll wait till next year's Baybeats k? I love you(: STICK TO YOUR COLOR LA ASSWIPE. UGH. YOU MAKE ME REAL MAD. PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR.
 YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Its OVER! PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR \m/ without any PEACE. fcuk. Im so afraid of retaining, seriously. Ughhh...! This anticipation NEVER ENDS. ahhh, shut up alr. PLANS FOR ONE WEEK AND 3 days BEFORE START OF WORK; `spend oh-so fcuking lots of my time with my precious Hanie `spend oh-so fcuking lots of my time with my precious Izie `spend oh-so fcuking lots of my time with mt precious Haikel
`spend oh-so fcuking lots of my time with my precious Johan `get wasted [haha! AS IF] `Work & be rich! *KACHING* `SHOPPING [A MUST] `Fast for the whole month [excluding the days of menses] `HAVE A GREAT HARI RAYA [since last year couldnt due to O-levels. bugger.] `Collect $$$ WOHHHOOO! & yeahh, results in 3 weeks......FCUK. I have changed for the worst. This is what I think. I need to be a good girl again. I dont want myself to get into deeper shits, & self-discipline is what I need most. The good Sof will soon submerge(: This is a cry for freedom.
 I know I'm not the best decision.But take a chance. I have a lot to say to you. I told you not to get affected now, but I know you are even if you deny. Yes, it is about what you have done to me. & also the way you are treating things. I think too much, I know I do. But its better than not thinking about all these, & just go with the flow. Im saving us from something terrible which we cant see it now. Maybe you hate it when I go all holy on you. Just maybe. I know Im not perfect, but Im trying my best to make myself a better person. & making you a better person. If you really cant wait that long, even for my sake, then, I have nothing more to say. Im sorry if Im not like any other girls that your friends have been talking about. I really am sorry. People, Im gonna mugg hard these fews days. I'll come back after my exams are over which is next thursday. & a reminder for you guys out there, Work hard now, & after the miseries are over YOU CAN PARTY HARD ALL YOU WANT. just make your books & notes your bestfriend, boyfriend or whatever. But NOT your enermy. -xoxo- ON HIATUS. sorry people. Im such a screw up.
Im not letting anything or anyone go.Im sorry for the outburst. Sudden rush of anger occured in me, wasnt quite myself. Whatever I have done to you, Im sorry. Seems that the things I did hurt you. I just want you to know that all of that is not intentionally. Im not perfect, which means that Im wont be a perfect friend to anyone. Im trying my best everytime. But Im always end up screwing things. I'll just leave you to have some space to yourself for now. |