Maybe if my heart's stops beating, it won't hurt this much.

Beseech

Don't judge me.

I'm touchy, so be nice.

affiliates

IZYAN HANISAH KAK ILLY SYUHADAH JOHAN NABEEL HERLEEN KELLY SHIYUN JIA HUI CHLOE MR PERRY LAI WEI JU HAIKEL SYAFIQAH KRISTA NAB ILLA
GORDON NALYSSA

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6months.

HEYYO! back from Izie's. We did streaksssss~ JYEAH!
I bought for us red blonde thingy. Cant really remember the exact name of the colour. So yeah, we watched A LOT LIKE LOVE. The first ever man that I had a connection with just at the first glance through the television is acting in it. Ashton people, Ashton Kutcher. Those were the days..sighhs. HAHA. Okok, Im stopping now.
We dyed our hair & do this and that. The color isnt visible. Izie's was after a couple of hours. Mine is just pure black. So I went home & streaked again. & then I got to know that the color only come out after 4 to 5 hours. The most is 8. Like wth. I colored alot liao. Shits. Im REALLY hoping that it'll turn out nice. Oh God, please! Have mercy!

OHMY.
6 months have already past & we are still intact. Those 6 months arent exactly easy for both of us. We pulled through from every arguements & disagreements we had so far. I thank God for that. Honestly, I wouldnt change any parts of our past at all. This is what God has planned for us, & Im grateful(:
Baby, we have so much plans & dreams for our future. & honestly, I cant run away from my thoughts of 'What Ifs', & they're the bad ones. There is only a slight possibility of 'Forever' in relationships. & you know Im not quite an optimistic in these relationships thingy, though I do put quite alot of emotion into it. Whatever it is, I hope for the best in our near future. Insyaallah.
Looking forward to finally meet up with you Baby. Next Thursday.
Study hard please.
I love you.

& its for you, Baby.

6 more days till we meet Baby.
We have gone through 24 days of pure miss-ness & the pain of waiting. But apparently, we almost made it through. Thank you for respecting my decision. It really meant alot that you're willing to go through a month of not meeting up. Obviously, most of the guys will cross me out of their lives with what Im making them go through. You're one in a million, Baby(:
This wait will pay off. Im sure of it.
I love you.

& she is awed.

Omg, Alan is killing me. He gave me alot of days to work. I only have tomorrow off. I'll be working till Monday. Ugh. Oh well, at least Im getting paid. Counted my pay & yessah! I'll be richhh! haha. Insyaallah, God's will.

Ok so, on Monday went out with Hanie, Sai & fren, Yat, Kris & boyfriend. IT WAS AWESOME. Full of laughters pls? haha. Met up with Hanie & Yat at jurong platform & trained to Woodlands to meet up with Kris & her boyfriend, Farhan. & yes, that guy looks so Chinese. KRISTA & FARHAN LOOKS DAMN GOOD TOGETHER. Im really happy for her. It's been long since I've seen her so happy(: Great catch Kris! Woohoo~!
We broke fast at Far East's Sakura. I had my usual wanton mee*YUMMEHH* While we were waiting for our food & the time to break our fast, we crapped. ALOT. haha! The usual comedians/bimbos, Hanie&I. HAHA. Damn funny la can? Haiyoo. Shoes & socks, OMG. HAHA! Kris & her boyfren went off first since she has homework to do. && her boyfren took the tab! LIKE WHAT A GENTLEMAN LA. Sighhs..finally Kris has a great guy with her(:
Anyway, after dinner, went Wisma and I bought 2 tops. 5bucks each. hehs. Then, met up with Fiq. Chill for like 10 mins at Taka fountain area & went back home since it was getting late. Hanie, Fiq & I trained back home. That guy will always have the BESTEST sense of humor. Ok ar, in a sense that he's making fun of other ppl. HAHA.
The day was just great!(:

Sorry Izie for cancelling Tuesday's plan. Had to work/: But hey, meeting you TOMORROW. Yayness!!(: So work was okay. Yesterday was pretty busy. Was totally drained out. Today was SLACKNESS. Raining in the morning till about 1. Still there wasnt really alot of guests, so THANK YOU GOD for that. Talked to Alan & he has the funniest stories la!
He & his wife is really fated. When he was 18, he was working in a restaurant. Then there was this group of 4 girls. He interacted with them since they became regulars customers there. Alan had his eyes on this particular girl. The prettiest among the 4, duh. His friend is the boyfriend of this girl that he likes, but he didnt know. His friend gave his number to one of the remaining girls, which is now his wife, instead of the one he likes. So yeah, when he got to know Alan didnt want to call her. His friend was like insisting for Alan to call & told him that this girl was crying. That got him panicky so FINALLY, he called. & that one phone call lead to 3 weeks of continuos communication between them. Then, Alan asked her out. Woohoo~! haha. They had known each other & been together in a relationship for 8 years before they got married. Typical reasons like stable financial & all. Goshh. What a story! Somehow, I think it's one of the ALMOST perfect relationship in the world.
ohoh! & he told me about one of his wife's girl friend's husband. DAMN FUNNY. The husband was a virgin but his wife is not la. So they were going to get it on one night, but then the husband coulndt find his way in. HAHAHA. *explicit content, read between the lines* Halfway in, HE didnt want to continue as HE said it was too painful. HAHAHA! Omg, HILARIOUS LA! It's sppose to be the woman & not the man feel the pain? Sheeshh. When the man got use to it alr, then he went for it. 3 times in one night, & it's for 3 years, continuosly. CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT THE WIFE GONE THROUGH? Goshh. Damn disturbing la.
I had hicupps for 2 hours. I was bouncing all over the place. HAHA!

TOMORROW date with IZYANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
yayyay!
damn happpyyyy(:
Gonna have a ultra-makeover, just hope that it suits me. :S

I need to finish reading my library book which is due 2mr!
ugh.
The book damn good la.
Maybe gna renew it, see how.

Lust VS Love

Lust VS Love,
which do you think will win?

Apparently, Lust is leading on a tremendous scale leaving Love stranded behind. Just think, marriage nowadays[I MISS BELLA] arent exactly ending with the actual 'till death do us part' version. Now, its more like 'till another woman do us part'. FCUKTARD.
I just cant get over the fact that we women are destroying each other's marriages. We're the same gender so why are we making eachother miserable? We must work together WOMEN! Hmm..on the second thought, I wounldnt want to even be face-to-face with these sluts. I witnessed for the first time in Orchard, a woman walking up to a cauncasian man around his late 40s, early 50s, asking for you-know-what. The man waved his hand, smiling as he walked off. & duhh, that woman is a foreigner. Sheeshh. Taking up space in Singapore only.

Politics,
UGH.

Anyway, yeah LUST is the cause of all marriage to detoriate. Sighhs. The world is crumbling down if you realized. Just open your eyes & ears to the world. It's changing drastically.

Wooshhy!

WOOOSHHH~
Backbackback from 2days of MIA.
Been working & too tired to go online. yupyup.

So, Wednesday was CHEESECAKE MAKING day with my oh-so adorable Izyan(: Mom didnt work as she took MC, but she still went out to buy kuih rayer. HAHA. So yeah, we had the house to ourselves. Before that, fecth her at anchorpoint to go grocery shopping. & SHE FORGOT TO CHECK SOMETHING OUT. I dont know what that something is la. haha! So anyways, we watched A walk to Remember while crashing biscuits for the base of the cakes to bits & pieces. Had a mini pillow fight for a moment. Then went on to do the mixing of ingredients. The toblerone was burnt la, walau! HAHA. Not spposed to be melted by the direct heat of the microwave, apparently. So I went out to find other chocs. & settled on Cadbury in the end.
Had a memorable cake making day with that woman(: & yes, the cake is damn nice!! But a lill too sweet/: oh well, im gonna eat it, bit by bit.

Break fast with Haikel yesterday. Together with his JC friends. They were a lill cold. Seperated from them for awhile & went window shopping around with kel. DKNY is having a sale of 60% OFF!! like wth? SIXTY PERCENT! goshh, considered of buying a top for Baby, but its still expensive. Saw a GORGEOUS top at Zara, men section, && I can imagine how hot my boyfriend will be if he wears that thang! D-A-M-N. soon, when I have the*KACHINGKACHING*(:
Then after that, me& kel settled at the nasi ayam penyet place at Lucky Plaza. He was a dear to apologize about having his friends tag along & acting cold. & he even try his best not to let me feel left out. I love him. & Im saying it with pure sincerity. He is one of the BESTEST friend I have(: Thank you, kel. Appreciate it lots lots. & remember, YOU OWE ME AN OUTING! haha(x
So, the food was okay. Not really a fan of that place. HAPPY SODA WAS GOOD(: Sat there in silence. Watching them as they talked & laughed. Well, yeah, I laughed too. Tumpang bahagia as malay would say it. haha. I must say that his guy friend is nice. To him at least. I dont remember any guys who is that nice to kel. Seriously, & apparently, kel has influence him into fashion. HAHA. yeahh, they're all okay I guess. *shruggs*
By the way, Baby was at town too. He had his class gathering & he was like asking me where will I be & stuffs like that. He was trying his best not to bump into me cuz he doesnt want to spoil the moment when we meet up finally. haha. & in the end, Kel bumoed into him after I left. HAHA.

Today went to work. Started at 11. I had gastric just as I arrived at work. Couldnt stand the pain & so, asked Agus if I can go home. So yeah, he let me. I left at around 12. Said bye to my fellow workmates except for Reena): I didnt get to see her. Damn sad la..sighhs.
The day didnt start off well & I took it out on him. Once again, Im sorry Baby.

Looking forward to streaking my hairrrr! woohooo!
&& Geylang outing with Hanie, Sai & Yatt! YAYYAY! Going geylang!(x
haha, wth.

Damn right, my eyes are sensitive to flash!

If you noticed, the tip of my tounge is split.

Ripley's believe it or not.

results.

OHOH!
I forgot to blog!

I PASSED MY SEMESTER 1 MODULES!
ALL OF IT!
& IM SO SUPER-DUPER HAPPYYYYYYYYYYY!
omgomg,
like THANK YOU GOD!
my GPA score is real bad but wth, I PASSED EVERYTHING.
& I wont have to retain!
I am so relieved.
I cant stop thanking Him..!

Now, all I have to do is work my ass off for the next semester.
I AM SOOO GONNA GET A BETTER GPA SCORE.
Insyaallah, God's will.

yeeehaaaww~

FLY AWAY~

WE FLEW~

Today in history, September 16th, Tuesday;

THE FIRST TIME EVER ON THE DAMN FLYER.

woohooo~

yesyes, got to share that moment with this particular woman. She's the one who brought me on it for freee~

This woman is THE BOMB.

Like seriously, wherever she goes people will shout BOMB. HAHAHA!

Im kidding(x

Okay ar, a lill lame. Pfft.

ANYWAY, it was damn scary when you were looking down. But then you'll get use to it. & then, when your cabin reaches the top, that made me weak on my knees. Ughh. Its like a rollercoaster ride experience. Except that it moves real slow. I was imagining myself on a rollercoaster at that moment. haha.

When the ride is over I felt like a drunk, nauseous. But hey, it was worth it!
Thank you Izyan(:
After flyer, went marina to get her glads. But there just isnt any in marina. What a waste of time. Sheeshh. Our legs were giving way, so we sat for quite awhile. So thirsty la! haiyoo.

We both bussed home since Izie's ezlink left so little. & 195 from esplanade is a hell long of a ride! My butt was sore when finally reach my destination. Sheeshh.

Full from Nasi Ayam penyet(:

2mr making cheescake with this woman again! WOOHOO~

PICTURESSSS~

That's one scared lill kid.

Goldfish on flyer.

The sky is my one true love.

Suicidal thoughts.

Sorry Ron, but she's mine!(x

FOREVER YOUNG.

Presenting, THE ACADEMY IS...

William Beckett is just SO HOT! D-A-M-N.

"I'll never let you go

don't ever forget

tell me you'll remember, forever young

i'll never let you fall

it's not over yet

you and me forever

forever young

we're forever young"

Secrecy.

Some Minahs are just so....UGHH! I dislike M&Ms. I was in the train on the way to Bugis & there's one who was with her boyfriend. She looked at me & rolled her eyes. As if I didnt see that! Sheeshh. I am controlling my fingers so as to not type curses. Testing my patience, these people.

I've got that something from the shop at Golden Landmark. FINALLY. I am TOTALLY pshyced la cannn?? I was afraid that it was small for Baby at first. The salesguy was helping me out. The one that was hanging is the last piece. I wanted an XL but yeah, the last piece was an L. I was biting my lower lip thinking whether it will fit him. The salesguy watched me. He told me that a guy bought a shirt sized XL & also bought the same thing that I wanted. The XL shirt was Baby's size. So the thing should fit him perfectly. So I was like,'wth. I'll just buy this. If he cant fit then I'll wear it.' So yeah, purchased it & left.
Went to Arab Street's Bazaar & bought food for mom's break fast. & then bussed home.

Baby said that if it's around the size of the After-The-Sky shirt he gave me then it shld fit fine. That made me breathe a sigh of relief la! Now, Im so eager to do what Izie told me to! && I cant wait to give it to him!! hahaha! Overly-excited!(x

I AM SO JUMPING FOR JOY.
Tomorrow will be anothr great day with Itchy!
IM LOVING HER TO BITS!!
She's taking me on the flyyyyeeerrrr~
We will flyyyyy~
Her mommy got this ASA card && Izie's taking me on it for FREE. Like OMG! People kill to have this oppurtunity la!
Thank you Izyan's Mommy! & of cos, my lovely Itchy!(:
As you can see Im super excited.
hehe.

BREEKS&SHOPPING

BREEKS & SHOPPING;

Finally! The day came people. Spending my time with my bestfriend shopping & dining-in at our oh-so fave BREEKS. What a bliss.

Thank you Ithcy-an for the wonderful day! I LOVE YOU LOTS LOTS(:

Izie didnt really splurge much. I did/: hehs.

Bought `skirt at BUGIS,

`Hari Raya heels at RAFFLES CITY

`long halter-neck dress at HULA&Co.

`& some felty thingy at ART FRIEND

Yupyup! Izie bought a gorgeous dress at Hula&Co. & another blue dress at Cotton On.

We ate till our tummys' content at BREEKS. So many memories there..& they're funny ones I tell you! hahah! Itchy noes(x

Went home around 8.30pm. What a day!(:

Lolly loves Itchy.

haha!

Happy goober with her Lasagne(:

Another happy goober with her pasta with mushroom sauce(:

She & her phone, neverending!

She's the BEST(:

[ My eyes cant stand flashes.q-_-p'' ]

I'll be fine.

"I'll be fine, I swear.
I'm just caught beyond repair."

I've made a promise to myself, I will not cry or be affected by the same bloody thing again. It's the last straw. Im just sick & tired of being the pathetic one.

No more.

I've just realized that my posts are getting more boring. Sheeshh.

It's like I dont know what I should blog about. Hmm..my life's arent exactly on the interesting note at the moment. Oh well.

Pictures from work,

the day was just dull with not many guests.

The view from our lill hut.

There was this old cauncasian couple.

They were damn sweet.

The husband had his wife on a piggy-back in the pool,

despite the size of his wife.

Dont you just wish you're in her shoes?

"I close my eyes & beg for peace."

tomorrow, you're only a day away.

Cant wait to go shopping with my lovely IZYAN tomorrow!!
Supposed to be today but her parents requested for us to postponed it to 2mr. So yeah, its okay.
I just hope the shop which Im gonna get something special for SOMEONE will be opened 2mr :/ Im too excited & too afraid that that something will be sold out to wait for another day..sighs. Praying hard that it'll be open, Insyaallah.
SO EXCITED PLEASE??
SHOPPING && BREEKS! Is that Heaven or what??
Must charge my camera, camwhore with Izie alotalot! YESSAH!(x

Im having 5days off starting from today. Too many workers at pooside liao. Oh well, Im gonna enjoy my well-deserved break(: I just hope I can go out with Hanisah & Haikel soon. Sighhs. Miss them to bits&pieces):

Counting down,
`12 more days till our 6th month!
`17 more days till we meet!
Woohoo! We can do this Baby!(:

hmm...I cant think of anything else to blog about :/

deprived.

I WANT TO GO OUTTT!!!
Izie Im so jealous la! Going to Naight Safari with your classmates..so fun la!
Sighhs. Nvm, I'll work & then I WANT TO SHOPPP!!
So many things I wanna buy. hehe(x
cant wait, cant wait, cant wait!

So many plans, such a long wait. q-_-p

horrible thoughts.

Horrible thoughts started to run through my head after that single thought which hit me at work.
'What if the one you're madly in love with now, the one that you could see yourself be with in the future, the one that you have so many plans with...wont be your 'the one'?'
I asked him questions. Which got me breaking down. I dont know. Its just so sad if that ever happens, you know?
Ahh fish, not gonna dwell on it anymore. It's all in God's hands. I'll just accept whatever He gives me. All I can do now is just pray.

Baby, your words just made me tear more. Not that it's a bad thing. It's just that the way you put things made me even more touched & make me feel the hurt even more if we ever do part. Thank you for being the best guy that I could ever ask for, despite the ass-side of you.
I love you.

Work, FINALLY.

Been working lately.
Started on Sunday;
It was so busy in the morning. Cuz of this group of cauncasians from the Olympics. Apparently they were celebrating their achievements, with thier gold medal around their necks. I cant deny that they are hot. But what get on my nerve is they ordered a HELL LOT of beers worth up to 2000bucks. Bloody cauncasians, drink so much beers. Hmph. But hey, they increased our sales which is a good thing. So yeah. When they went off it was a relief. They checked out on that day itself. The rest of the day was a little quiet. Not a lot of orders. Surprisingly, there are quite a number of young cauncasians in one day. Usually, its full of old or not-so hot ones around.
At around 4, Alan chased me & this new guy named Brandon out since The Line manager asked Alan to cut cost of the casual labours. Stingy people. Hmph. I WANT MONEY LEHH. Sheeshh.
Anyway, I went back home straight, too weary to even go anywhere else. I was so drained. Was surrounded by cold soft drinks. The temptation level was DAMN HIGH, I tell you! So I went to buy a can of F&N cheeryade & a bottle of Sprite before going home. Haha! Bathed straight & laid on the couch energy-lessly.
Monday;
Work was such a bore yesterday. Hotel's occupancy is below 100. It was so quiet. Agus was his old-stupid self. Sometimes irritating, sometimes funny. Alan being the wise one talks to me about things. Yeah, we did alot of talking. Nothing interesting really. Sighs. I havnt get the chance to work with Reena, Peace & Naseer! Ugh. Naseer requested to work at The Line since the working timing is much easier for him cuz of fasting. Oh well.
Break fast at work with Azullia. the food was damn good la! The hotel provide good food since its the fasting month. But it cost 3bucks. I dont want eat there liao. haha! Must collect as much money possible since Alan gave me not much days to work.

lalala~
I want go outttttt!!!
Im so deprived):

Waiting PATIENTLY.

It's only the 6th day of Ramadhan. Kinda moving slowly. Sighhs. Maybe I didnt have much to do for the past few days. Oh well.
Just got back from my bb aunt's house. Break fast there since my mom working aftnn shift. yupyup. Brought VCD from my house titled 'The Message'. Its a story about Islam. How Islam came about & being publicised to the whole of Arab. Damn nice. It really opens up your heart(:
Islam is a beautiful religion.

Tomorrow: start of WORK.
Like FINALLY. Sheeshh. im working in Shangri-La, Poolside still. I hope it'll still be the same. Cuz Im not good at adapting new things. Takes me awhile/: Anw, I miss my colleagues. Really hoping that I can meet them again(: woohoo!~ & I also hope that work wont suck for me. I just want to kill time by working. & at the same time earn some money! *KACHING* Praying hard that work will be a breeze.

24 more days till we can meet again. Waiting patiently for the day to come. Whatever we're doing now is for our own good. & yes, this wait will be worth it. DAMN RIGHT IT WILL. Do take care of yourself when Im starting to get busy with work. Study hard please. & please do remember that Im in your heart, mind & soul. I love you, baby. We will get through this.

MY BESTEST GIRLFRIENDS,
please start collecting your money.
Cuz we are SO going SHOPPINGGGG!!!(x

BREAKING FAST.

Spent my day with my dearest Izyan & Haikel(: SO SO HAPPPYYY!!
eventhough we got tired easily. Seriously, today our fuel went out so soon. Sheeshh. We can barely walk. Anyway, we went to JE lib first since me&zie wanted to borrow books to kill our time at home. Bugis next, Golden Landmark Shopping Centre to be exact. Searched for something there. Found a GORGEOUS thing there. So gonna buy it when I get my pay. & Izie gave me the most brilliant idea! Thx sayang(: It'll be so perfect! CANT WAIT.
Walked to Bugis Junction to search for a place that we can break our fast but we cant decide where. Came up with Sakura which was located at City Hall. Yupp. Window-shopped at Bugis Street first before making our way to City Hall. & I'VE FOUND THE FREAKIN SKIRT THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTEDD! So gonna go shopping when I get my payyyy! YAY!(x
So yeah, dragging our weak & tired souls through the crowd of Bugis St, we made our way to City Hall. By then, it was only 5? Goshh. So we made reservation in Sakura & then went to Raffles City & walked around. Sat outside the shopping mall, where the space between the window-paned railing & the platform floor was just like 10cm in width. Gotta squeeze our butts onto it for the sake of our legs. Watched this cauncasian couple talking. The girl was crying while the guy comforted her. So sweet(: Made me miss my boyfren. Sighs. Okay, not gonna dwell on that. Dont want to feel the hurt of missing him. lalalala~ So yeah, went back to Sakura at ard 6.30. Ordered fooooood. [There isnt Beef Wanton Noodle):] I ordered rice. Been eating a whole lot of rice laaaa...! But hey, Thank God I have food to eat. So anw, waited for azan & started to drink, since my food didnt arrive yet. haha. Bandung heaven!(x
Today was great! We get to bump into A WHOLE LOT of people. There were Fyda[!!], Qidir[Sec3 guy], JJ couple[!!], 2 of ex-KR, 2 Spore celebs [whats-her-name & one of the REM girl] & Jasmine[in the bus back home]. haha! How cool is that! WOOHOOO! Thank you guys for the wonderful but oh-so tiring day! I LOVE YOU LOTSLOTS!(:

Last but not least, a vid of my oh-so fashionable best friend.
After you watch this, you will think twice about who he really is.
Thanks Jasmine for the info!(x

By now, you shld be laughing your ass off.
Cuz I am.
I love him, nonetheless.
MUACKS!(:

baby's sweetness.

yesterday's Convo with Baby;

(11:16 PM) -jOhAn-:
hahahahah
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
i
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
am
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
head
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
over
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
heels
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
&
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
ever
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
so
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
in
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
love
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
with
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
you
(11:17 PM) -jOhAn-:
(:

He's so sweet please?
What I feel for him is just indescribable.
I love him.

& Baby, bunny loves you too! *shimmy shimmy*
(x

American girl.

The girl from America Got Talent is just THE CUTEST! Her pure innocence & angelic features brought tears to my eyes. For real. I actually burst into tears when she ran up to her daddy. Goshh, Im so emotional. That little girl just makes me want to have a baby of my own. haha! I LOVE KIDSS!!

waiting for Hanie to come online. WHERE ARE YOUUU??~~

Holy me.

Paranoia is still in me. However, I wont let it bother me. Maybe its not me. Wow, I realized that all 3 sentences eneded with 'me'. haha. wth. ANYWAY, Im always trying my best when it comes to my friends. Especially my close ones. I just dont know why we have to be in the same situation over & over again. Sighhs. Maybe Imnot trying hard enough. [so much for not letting it bother me..]

You cant always have what you want. We plan but God controls everything. We do have choices in life but God already knows the future of what our decisions are. When we realized our mistakes, He is more than happy to forgive us. God is not bad at all. If you feel that you commited too many sins & that its too late to repent, that's bullshit. It's never to late to get close to God again. He will still love you & forgive you, just be sure that you're sincere about repenting. & if you know that God will still forgive for whatever you do, dont take advantage of it, dammit. For example, you choose to take in alcohol, eat pork, not doing your prayers & things that God forbids since you know that one day when you ask for forgiveness, God will gladly forgive you. Nope, it doesnt work that way. He's not dumb. God knows you're intentions & your thoughts before you even start. Im blessed to be born as a Muslim. Eventhough there are SO many restrictions, I know that its for our own good. Islam is a very clean, peaceful & beautiful religion. [not comparing to any others]
I thank God for everything. Amin.

My mom's sick again): She's been coughing & having terrible headaches. Im gonna send her to Raffles Hospital for check-up soon. I just hope she's gonna be okay & she wont have any illnesses or something like that. Im really scared)": I dont want her to go just yet. I still need her for as long as it takes...

Tranquility.

First day of Ramadhan & I didnt miss a prayer. Im proud of myself(: hehe.
My aim for this year's fasting month is to cleanse every part of my mind,body & soul from all the bad things that I've done from the day I was born. Yes, I want to be the good Sof again but it seemed that Im drawn to the wrong route over&over again. I hate it.
I really hope I will change for the better after this holy month. & I know, this process is not that easy. I got to be strong. With God's will, I can accomplish this.
After this month, I want to feel that I deserve to have a good Hari Raya. With lots of MONEY!(x haha. & yes, another reward is that I get to see Baby again. But his Os will be nearer, so cant really disturb him just yet. After 11/11 [what's with the date??], Baby will be freeeee~ & we'll have so much time together(: Patient is the key to everything.

Sighhs, I seriously need a job. I cant live like this, having nothing to do at home. Ughh. I NEED A JOB BADLY.
& I also want to spend as much time as I can with my oh-so beloved BFFs. By now, you guys know who they are. haha. But they seem so busy..sighhs. Oh well. You cant have everything your way.

& she wants to feel the tranquility in her soul.