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so sleep alone tonight
She wants to be happy.
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Beseech
Don't judge me.
I'm touchy, so be nice.
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My own state of mind.
Here is a question,'Who are you exactly?' Some people live their life for the sake of living. Some live to make money, some to achieve their dreams. But have you ever dropped everything that you are doing for a second & ask yourself this question before? Do you even give a damn about yourself? Well, you should consider your own feelings & opinions eventhough you put others before yourself. Sometimes you tend to take care of others' feelings so much that you end up hurting yourself. You are as equally important as they are. & you should know who you are deep down inside.What makes you, you. Reflect on yourself, be happy of who you are. If you arent, then you should change for the better. As for me, the question that I should be asking myself is, 'What am I becoming into exactly?' As time passed, Im changing into a totally different person deep down inside. I didnt really think that in a MILLION YEARS I would become into this devil. What has changed me? Was it someone else's fault that Im becoming like this? But I cant blame it on others...I had a choice. & I chose the wrong one. My dearest friends, dont bother asking what's wrong with me. It's too personal, Im afraid. FYI, IM NOT PREGNANT [thx eh, bella!]. Im not proud being me right now. I feel so far way of my usual self. & I feel so far from my beloved God. Is He letting me go? Is He still listening to me? I cant even bear to talk to Him, Im too ashamed of myself. Im hurting myself so much. Why am I becoming into someone I dont even know now? Someone that I loathe. Why am I leading myself into a deep pit of Hell? How I wish I can just dissappear. The World is just so cruel. Let me vanish from the face of this earth..I want to be in God's hands. I want to be closer to Him. I dont want anything to destroy the relationship that we have. I dont want anything to come between us. Everything happens for a reason, I know. I want to change back into my old self again. Please help me change for the better. Please, I beg you. I dont want to hurt myself anymore. I need your help. Save me, please..... |