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so sleep alone tonight
She wants to be happy.
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Beseech
Don't judge me.
I'm touchy, so be nice.
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IZYAN
HANISAH
KAK ILLY
SYUHADAH
JOHAN
NABEEL
HERLEEN
KELLY
SHIYUN
JIA
HUI
CHLOE
MR
PERRY LAI
WEI
JU
HAIKEL
SYAFIQAH
KRISTA
NAB
ILLAGORDON NALYSSA archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
MEMORY.
THE PICS ARE JUST SOOOOO UNGLAM. HAHAHA! seriously, the way my guy&girlfriends looked during our 4years in KR, its just HILARIOUS. Goshh, I was looking through quite a whole lot of pics that I took for memories sake & it definitely served that purpose. They are all priceless pictures. & I still kept that one-in-a-million picture in my safe-keep. HAHA. Unbelievable. There are so many memories in my brain & I hope they wont fade. I love them to the core. After all that we've been through; arguements, misunderstandings, bitchings, back-stabbing & of course the oh-so sweet memories that we share, even after all those I still love them to the core. REALLYREALLY. I do not want to keep any grudges against anyone cuz staying angry isnt healthy. haha! righhhht, sof. ANYWAY, I just hope to have a reunion soon. haha! My new year's eve is gna be a boring one, I guess. Gta stay at home since I cant go out. UGHHH! But at least Baby's gna accompany me to watch fireworks through tele...with mommy. q-_-p HAHAHA. Oh well..I hope it doesnt suck that much. PRAYING FOR THE BEST(: Secrets.
Watched movie with Baby today.& having him by my side is like my kind of Heaven. Singing out loud & dancing in public while listening to songs over earphones/headphones, dining in with him in the Nasi Ayam Penyet restaurant, & watching him sweat over good food just like when he sweats when he's holding my hand in his, watching him hicupping when he had that spicy sambal belacan which causes me to giggle, him drawing me in closer to him with his strong arms protecting me, him kissing my forehead & hand, & him knowing the times whenever Im bothered or deep in thought. BABY, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, PLEASE DO NOT GO ON ANY FURTHER. IT WILL JUST RUIN YOUR DAY. TWILIGHT & PETER PAN REVIEWS. After the movie, I was still in a trance, thinking of how sweet the romance is between the vampire & the human. Love doesnt take into consideration on what kind of species you are, in the story that is. HAHA. In real life, it doesnt matter your size, age[depends on the age gap], race, color, hair..whatever the differences are. Love is blind apparently. But there is always something trying to tear this love apart. & the question of whether it will break apart, it depends on how strong this love is. But sometimes, the strongest will of love is setting your significant other free. From the movie, the vampire had the will to stop himself from sucking too much of the human's blood. The human blood is his A-list drug but with the strength of his love for the human, he stopped himself. As for Peter Pan, it's about young love. You are never too young to fall in love. The part after Wendy gave Peter a kiss on his lips, when Peter brightens up & shot into the air..I wish I have that kinda impact on my significant other. To have such meaning behind my kisses which give life to him & to see him brightening up further brings such a rush of happiness & joy in myself. I love romantic fantasy movies, & it always gets me wishing to be in one. But the world is a cruel place, which I realized quite sometime ago. What Im going through really is just full of challenges & complications. My mind is a scary place to be. So vampires who read minds, beware. haha, wth. Honestly, I dont feel any happiness in me right now. Im just so lost, broken & confused. Baby, I know you can feel that something's bothering me. & yes, there is. I dont want to say anything cuz Im afraid of screwing things up for both of us. I dont want to lose you, but for the past few days...it feels that I have lost you. Im suffering inside. I am. I just cant bear to tell you this. I have been thinking a hell lot of hellish thoughts, you have no idea. That incident that you told me never happened, well, it keeps running through my head. I cant stop it, Baby. I just cant. It will affect our future, one way or another. & also, by the way you're treating me now..I think I have lost it all. That's why Im confused by your meaning of 'ending the day with something good'. You should change your perspective of things. You're worth every heart beat & I do not want to let you go, ever. But...can we think of how things will turn out for real? *Christmas Sizzles*
25th Dec 2008. The day started with a dilemma of what I should wear to match with Baby's outfit. HAHA. What a start huh? I thought of wearing a new top I bought but I had second thoughts since Baby will be the Hot one for the day. So gotta match with his level of hotness. HAHA. So Baby came over to my house & I showed him the outfit. Of course it didnt match. So I changed to the black dress. Our first stop is to The Cathy. We watched Bedtime Stories & the guinea pig is SO DAMN CUTE. haha! Serious seh. The eyes freakily big. HAHA. So yeah, it's Christmas day so they were a whole lot of people at the malls. Quite alot with Santa hats. I've got a candy cane but I didnt like how it taste. :/ Still got half of it left. I decided to call Kel to be our photographer for the day since Baby is smokin' hot with his blazer & all. Couldnt take my eyes off him. HAHA. Kel joined us at ard 5 at Vivo. We had Swensens dessert. I said things which causes Baby to misunderstand. HAHA. Seriously funny pls? For eg. 'I give you a good one, if you give me a good one,' I said to Kel. & Baby was like,'Give a good what? What are you guys talking about?' HAHAHA. His expression is damn priceless la! Btw, ppl with dirty minds like us three, will know what it actually means. So yeah, think out of the box ppl!(x Went off around 7 plus & trained home. Baby & I stopped at Tiong Bahru or Tanjong Pagar, I cant remember to by mommy KFC. & Kel trained home all the way to Clementi. Thanks Haikel for dropping by(: I love you so very much. MUACKS! PS: I WANT PICS QUICK! hehe(x Our 9th is a great one. But there were tiffs in the middle of the day. Cant run away from it. Haha. All-in-all, it was great(: Thanks Baby. 3 more months!!(x          He looks oh-so good from above(:     & I was mesmerized by my boyfriend. Bummers.
SC outing is today actually,& I CANNOT GO. UGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss those bunch of people to the maximum core PLEASEEEE?????? )))': Just so sad right now. Sighhs, gta layan my mommy. Go Ikea, waited for her fren so that we can exchange a few furnitures since she got a lorry...but didnt in the end. Sighhs, I wna go badly laaa. walau. Anyway, as far as i know NP has a 3week holidays while NYP has only 2. can you say, 'fcuk you NYP?' sighhs. I have yet to touch any books, & i have an ICA on nxt Tuesday. Say it again please, 'fcuk you NYP'. thank you. PS: Am I gonna get caught if I post this? Runaway Bride.
Bloghopping for a moment there. Read posts of family time, spending hols with one another. My only family is my mother. She's the one who took care of me since the day I grew in her tummy, she's the one who went to the hospital alone to give birth to me, she's the one who raised me till this moment of my life, she's the one whom I always quarrelled with, she's the one who makes me laugh, & she's the one who loves me more than anyone else in this world. Even though I have a small family, I dont complain cuz I know that this very soul who has put her life in danger being in labour is more than enough. I love you, mommy. Gonna go interview a manager over at Tully's for Principles of Managment project with Kelly & Jonathan later. Dont really have the mood to, honestly. First day menses, ugh. Fcuk. Everything doesnt feels right. & she has every right to. But you have no idea. I am changing for the worse. keep away from me, please. Triple Trouble.
So today was a triple date day for Hanie, Kris & I. But before meeting up with them & their significant others at 12.30pm, I accompanied Baby to get his injection that is required for his job.First we planned to meet up at 10.30am. & so I called him at 10.15am to check if he's still sleeping since he didnt reply my free online msges. HAHA. & yes, my poor-too-hardworking-boyfren-who-is-too-stubborn-to-listen-to-me is still snoring away. HAHA. But I cant deny that he sounds cute in his just-woken-up way of talking. HAHA. Like Minds ppl. hehehe(x I love you Baby! xP Decided quite awhile ago before calling him that I should just make my way to West coast if he wasnt up yet, & so I did. Bussed there & damn I missed that long-emo ride! The wheater today was brilliantly windy! Clear blue sky, sun is out & the wind complements the heat. SHIOK SIA! So anw, I did alot of thinking in the bus. Its been long since I've had an alone time during a bus ride. My mom words were ringing in my head. She is such a skeptic about love. I dont blame her since after what she has been through. But she's kinda passing it on to me too. Its like Im starting to think like her. Its so hard having a boyfriend, seriously. There's 3 issues you have to think about; religion, mom & possible outcomes. There are moments when I just wished that Im single until I reach the age when I decide to settle down, so as to not commit any sins, mom wont have to NAGNAGNAG & I dont have to worry so much on the devillish thoughts or sluts stealing my boyfren or vice versa. Im just tired of having to balance things out, trying to do things the right way. The only thing I want is to just GET MARRIED & LIVE TOGETHER WITH MY SIGNIFICANT ONE. So as to not worry about whatever rules Im gonna cross, Mom wont have to NAGNAGNAG since I get to see him each & every day && about the cheating part...im not too sure. SEE?! SEE?! My mind is narrowed by my mom! OMGGGG. I think Baby is getting sick & tired of me saying about the bad 'what if(s)'. He had to repeat his words OVER & OVER again. & he gets angry & frustrated when I go paranoia about it. Sighhs... Seeing those birds fly from the window pane of the bus was just peaceful. I really wanted to be a bird at that moment. I just wanna fly freely without a care about the world. Imagining me & my group of friends, flying wherever we want to...there's no need for money...just food of course. Yeahh..isnt that blissful? Oh well, Im still human anw. So reached WC & we trained to Orchard. The wait for injection was long laaaa. I was afraid of being late for the movie. So at around 12.20-12.30pm, Baby got his jab & we bussed to The Cathy. Yup. We were the first to reach. q-_-p so much for being afraid. HAHA. Hanie&Izwan actually ran la! HAHA. So Kris&Farhan were the LATEST ones, so we bought the tix for them first. & then found out that they are at Cathy Cineleisure Orchard! SMART ASS. HAHA. So we went in for the movie first. After like10 to 15 mins of the movie, they came in. WOOHOO! Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging ROCKS! I love the movie! Its like the same as Juno. Still have Twilight, Yesman, Bedtime Stories to watch. Hope to watch Twilight with Izie(: Double! hehe. After the movie, all the 6 hungry souls went to Mac & had their lunch. LIKE FINALLY. Ate, talked, laughed just like old times(: Kris had to go off first after that & Hanie,Iz,Baby&I went to the park & walk around. Baby&I ended up with a tiff again. & that was the 2nd or 3rd one for the day. UGH. Whatever we do or say, However different we may think things through, I still love you. No matter what I thought of you, the things you said that hurt me, I just cant seem to hate you. Not that I want to la. HAHA. But seriously Baby, you drive me crazy. From being loved, to pissed, to hurt, to sad, to melt mode..WTH ARE YOU DOING TO ME? HAHA. You are still my knight in shining armor, you are still my oh-so-hot-over-sensetive-giNORMOUS-strong boyfriend. Im a sucker for you too now, apparently(: I love you, Baby. Holidays babeh!!
I AM BACKKKK!hehe. Been either too lazy or busy to update. Sorry ppl. Friday, 12th Dec 2008. Went to school for the sake of attendance for tutorial which is the first thing on every Friday. & then, skipped lecture so that I could spend time with my darling Hanisah(: Its been so long since we've met up. Goshh. I've missed her so much pls. Fetch her at yew tee around 12.30. & it was SO GOOD to see her again. Trained to City Hall & made our way to Marina Square. Didnt miss any second of catching up with eachother. We did our usual routine whenever we go out; camwhore(: JYEAH! Decided to bring her to Jo's workplace at Raffles. So yeah, went there & somehow it wasnt a good sight at that moment. Felt so sad & afraid. Only Hanie understood how I felt at that moment. Oh well. Then we went back to City Hall. Went to Esplanade after & sat by the river. Had a heart-to-heart talk. As what Kel would say, 'jiwa-jiwa'. *roll eyes* HAHA. Sat there for quite sometime, enjoying some peace with my long lost closest one(: There were hundreds of floating white beach balls on the river. & that sight is somehow magical. We didnt realize that there was a booth which is giving out these plain white beach balls to people who wishes to write their new year's resolution until we walked pass it. I asked whether its free, & yes! It is! HAHA. Cheapskate, I know. We are 2 broken souls okay? Anw, we took one small one & write on it. We did so while waiting for Izwan to come. HAHA. That moment is just so priceless. Really. It was like the moment when I got to watch the fireworks. I wouldnt change it one bit. but yeah, it does sucks when ur own boyfren isnt there on these kind of occasions. Oh well. He's working till late anyway. Finally, Izwan came & we went off after we're done decorating. Those 2 are THE CUTEST la! Its like 2 teddybears enjoying eachother's company. HAHA. I couldnt stop smiling(: They went off first since Hanie had to go off. They accompanied me to Raffles & they took the train back home while I was left to wait for an hour's time for Baby to end work. Was frustrated la & yeah, we ended up having a tiff. q-_-p    My darling(:   The 2 teddybears! not clear ar.   & another special moment together(:     & I will always love her(: Sunday, 14th Dec 2008. Decided to ask my mom to ask Baby over for lunch. & he only came at 5 plus since he had work. I know, I know. I gotta adapt to things now. He's working & I gotta understand. yesyesYESSSS. So mommy cooked mee goreng & its been soooooo long since she cooked that! Goshhh. But it still taste as good as before(: After that we went out. Decided to bring him to Esplanade since he was down cuz he couldnt share that moment with me. But when we were there, there wasnt any balls left. HAHA. So we just sat down, talked & watched a lill bit of performance. & then we went for a movie. Quarantine is SCARY LA! walau! The starting is boring but when it comes to the scary part, it is scary! haha. wth am I talking? Anw, after the movie, it was around 10.30pm & most of the shops in Marina was closed. & imagine after watching such horror movie, we were walking in an empty & quiet mall. HAHA. Disturbing. Tuesday, 16th December 2008. This day was a photoshoot day!! Went out with my Hanie & Haikel(: Its been long since I've seen Kel too. So the color code was black. & so we have to dress in all black. Kel made me his model & I felt like a guinea pig la. He accessoried me with oh-so huge shades, scarf, hat...UGH. && it wasnt fair cuz Hanie didnt get to be tortured! We went to Orchard & ate the Nasi Ayam Penyet. YUMMM. Love the happy soda(: Walkwalk around town for awhile. Then, off to Raffles to Baby's workplace. AGAIN, I know. haha! So yeah, chilled at Tully's & thats when Kel started his photoshoot. q-_-p It is really difficult for one to balance her attention among her beloved friends & boyfriend. Really. Esp when it's me. It always end up horriby. UGH. & those words you spat out, you dont know how much it hurts. I couldnt believe it. After walking around Raffles, Hanie had to go off & meet up with her Mom. Waited for Izwan for awhile to arrive at the control station. Kel, Hanie & Izwan went off towards Boon Lay while Baby&I went off to Douby Ghaut to catch a movie. Yup. brain damaged.
Okay, yesterday was just a damn pitiful day for me. Early morning suddenly had a terrible flu. Went to class & AFA cher shoot me with saddening comments. Apparently I got the lowest marks in AFA ICA1. No failures but she's still not happy with our marks since it was an easy paper. Yeah, I know, dumb me. q-_-pI couldnt care less about it since I was too preoccupied with my sneezes. HAHA. I look dead la can? no kidding. The whole day I was like a zombie, freakin lifeless one walking. Went for lunch with my dears & then went home. Skipped lecture cuz I couldnt take it alr. Train ride was smooth until there was this aunty freaking attitude. Keep pucshing me out of the way. HELLO? The wasnt any space for me to move? Then she purposely pushed me HARD with her shoulder-action-bumming technique. Like I said, I was too dead to care. I just frowned at her like she was at me. SLUT. So reached home, changed, took med & slept. From 1.30 to 5pm. Shiok. Mommy came back after awhile & she asked me to go to private doc. I agreed since I wanted to ask about my brain too. The doc told me that its just due to emotional or physical stress that I have these out of the blue headache. & this headache I tell you, damn pain lor. Its like a squeezing action. She told me that if it occurs in a same spot then its serious. As for me, its only happening at 2 spots. So yeah. Went home, took med & sleep. Now, I gta start on my EffCom ICA2. & also my stats survey qns. Recap-tivate.
Okay so, I have been MIA-ing for the past God knows how many days. Been damn lazy to blog laaa. The previous blogskin arent giving me any inspiration to blog anw. So now, Im gna try to play ard with the html & edit my blog nicely. hehe. It pays to have these kinda module(: Anyway, Im gonna retrace you back to the past few days which were interesting to me. Here I go...!Friday, 28th Nov 08. My morning started with meeting up with Baby at Queenstown platform. There were a few policemen or somewhat of a policeman at the platform, whatever you call them. So in actual fact, you cant happily stay at the platform for as long as you like. & these policemen were having their eyes on us until one of them came up & ask us if we're waiting for someone. HAHA. I was damn scared lor. They have guns for God's sake. Sheeshh. We were there from like 8 am. & planned to stay on till ard 8.40am. However it was only 8.30 when I couldnt stand it & I wanted to go off. Yeahyeah, I know Im a coward. q-_-p So left there, me going on to the train towards jurong while Baby took the one towards Bugis. Arrived at jurong ard 8.45am. Had to wait for Bella for like 30 freaking minutes. Ugh. HAHA. Its not her fault la. I was the damn early one. Anw, between that 30mins, I saw someone. He looks familiar. I knew who he was but was to afraid to smile to the wrong person if he is not who I think he was. HAHA. So i was watching him. This guy was talking to himself la. HAHA. Damn funny. Then he stood across me. After a few seconds, he went inside the middle train, smiling. & then he sat next to someone & started to talk. He said something &...BINGO!! There she was, smiling & waving at me. HAHA. Could see her shock face with my short sighted eyes. So damn elated to see her happy once again(: The train left & I was still waiting for Bella. Easily bored out of my witts from reading micro lecture notes, I watched the people around me. & I spotted a couple in the same colored shirts. The girl was on the phone & the guy with his PSP. The guy was so engrossed in his PSP that he took like 5mins to freaking move from the spot that his standing at to the place where his girlfriend is sitting. He was like taking little steps forward & stopped to continue with his PSP. & did the same the second time. q-_-p Having a boyfriend with a PSP at hand is totally despised by me. They will only entertain their PSP instead of us. Asssss. But if they do include us while playing the game then its acceptable. ANYWAY, Bella finally came & we got on the middle train to yck. A fats-jiggling trip, that is. HAHA.Recieved a text msg from Alex Choo, which is our PEM. We had to stay back for a class meeting at 4. So as most for you know, my class has a major conflict. & I tell you, after the talk we had with those people, it was like oh-so pointless. Sighs. Seriously, screaming at us didnt prove anything but your true colors. Thank you very much btw. We arent deaf. & that face of yours, damn pretty. UNTIL, you gave us the biacthed up face. Twisted stories to cover your bullshit? WOW, but I dont think we are that dumb. & you are the star of this. All we have to do is to just stay happy with what we have. So what if they conquer? Its okay, really. We are glad we arent in their spells. We will still be the ecstacy-high-filled-with-laughters clique. THANK YOU(: & after what was lost, something special was gained. No use crying over spilled milk, you just have to prove it to me. Or I'll walk away for sure.. It wasnt special at all, until I saw honesty. Saturday, 29th Nov 08. After my religious class, went home ard 3.30pm since I have dinner plans with Sammy, LY & WeiErn. Hanie & Matthew couldnt make it so left us. So damn excited la(: Its been SO DAMN LONG since we've last met. Goshhh. So yeah, after a few changes in plans, met up with Sam & LY at Queenstwon platform at 7pm. Was smiling all the way from the moment I saw them(: Trained to Orchard & met Wei Ern at Far East. HAHA. Sam & LY are serious Orchard noobs. After we met WeiErn, we went up to Sakura & dine-in. Had the usual fave wanton noodle. YOU SHOULD TRY IT. *slurp* Got to know alot of funny incidents from them. & I nearly choke on my noodle. They are a funny bunch. Miss those secondary school days. Esp Student Council. WHEN IS THE GATHERING MY DEAR SC?? Okay, side-tracking. HAHA. So after dinner walked to Taka & sat near the fountain. There were alot of celebrations for the festive season. Kinda packed with people. Saturday night at Orchard, duhh. We sat, talked & camwhored. You better stop your habit pls? For own good. We people love you, that's why we are nagging. Seriously. Stop harming yourself. At around 9, I had to go off cuz it was getting late. Im not use to having a night life, mind you. So I persuaded them to go off with me & take the train together. & those gentlemen did so. Thank you(: The day was really filled with smiles & laughters. It was REALLY nice to see you guys again. I love you all(:
    From top left: Jia Hui, Kelly, Me. Bottom left: Bella, Tess & Chloe. |
Wei Ern(:
Samuel(:
Liyun(:
A happy girl.