Maybe if my heart's stops beating, it won't hurt this much.

Beseech

Don't judge me.

I'm touchy, so be nice.

affiliates

IZYAN HANISAH KAK ILLY SYUHADAH JOHAN NABEEL HERLEEN KELLY SHIYUN JIA HUI CHLOE MR PERRY LAI WEI JU HAIKEL SYAFIQAH KRISTA NAB ILLA
GORDON NALYSSA

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tired & demoralized.

Ive been working on Sunday & yest. Damn tired please. UGH.It was so busy for that 2 days but thank God it rained in the late afternoon. Syukur.
I think I still didnt get enough rest. Still yawning away. Sighhs..&& my body's aching. Mommy's working so there's no one to massage for me. I feel like going for a full body massage therapy just to pamper myself. If only Im rich..

Anw, Baby got his braces off yesterday. He looks different. It looked like fake teeth at first since its so perfect & straight & white. But then, after staring at him for quite awhile, he actually looks damn good.
& yeah, these thoughts keep coming. I feel inferior now since I kept on thinking what will happen now that he has yet made another transformation from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan.
Honestly, the future freaks me out.
Now that my boyfriend's looking like an american hot dude with that perfect smile, his built, his eyes, his character..
I GOTTA DO SOMETHING ABT MYSELF.
I need to lose weight since Alan & Chris said that Im fat. UGH.
&& my mom keeps nagging at me about washing my face every night before bed, which I am so lazy to do.
Soooo, I need to exercise & maintain my facial routine.
FCUK, who am I kidding? Im such a lazy human. Nth has really inspired me to even exercise. Even the simplest workout I have to think infinite times before I actually get my ass going.q-_-p
ugh.
When I see these girls so sporty & all with their firm legs & arms & that nicely shaped body, I get jealous & started to wish I was like them. When I see these tall girls at my workplace with their tight, sexy in a sophisticated way uniforms, I REALLY wish Im like them.
Im getting demoralized by my own self. :S
Shit.
Now I know how Kelly feels. Sighhs..see la, Kelly. You've passed ur virus to me. haha!

I think I shld stop thinking this way. I shld be happy with who I am, right? & be thankful that God has made me into a functional human with no disabilities. YUP!
I shld be thankful.
All I need to do is made the best out of what He has given me(:

Someone get my ass off the couch please?

One word: blissful.

Our story:

& after all we've been through,
after what we have lost,
given up,
sacrificed,
& get into heaps of trouble for,
it was all worth it.

I can still remember those words you said,
"You are worth hanging on to,
Im glad I've waited for you.."
Tears stug my eyes,
with immediate effect.

Even after how I've treated you,
those years of being a clueless bitch,
you still hanged on by my side.
One in a million,
you are.

Many days which were spent with you,
they were equally the best.
Fights,
arguements,
misunderstandings,
they were just stepping stones for us.
Only made us stronger than ever.

After the fifth,
it just went uphill from there.
We were much more entwined than ever.
& at every 25th,
we celebrate that special day.
Five,
thats the number which brought us closer;
our angel.

Baby,
I wouldnt change a thing about you,
you are special enough.
I hope this will never end,
a journey hand-in-hand,
with you.

On the 25th March 2009, it marks our 1 year anniversary. It was really unbelieveable that we have made it through. From being on a rocky road of relationships together, we have finally surfaced from it. Im really thankful(':

So now, Im gna talk abt how the day went. The morning didnt start that well. Baby quarrelled with his mom back home. So he wasnt really in the best of mood. Anw, we came up with a new plan & its to spend time with his sis, Nalyssa(: Wanted to surprise her at her school, but by the time we reached she was alr at home q-_-p HAHA! So met her at the market bustop instead. We went to WCP Mac to have our lunch. So spent quite sometime there, chatting & laughing & entertaining that 10 year old. HAHA! But hey, she's quite a funny girl. Learnt from his brother, duh. HAHA! Watching them together really made me wish for an elder brother. How Baby irritate his sis is just so adorably-sweet. HAHA.

ohoh, btw! Leen came to WCP Mac with her bro & mom too! HAHA! So damn happy to see her again please??? She's so pretty(: hehe. Missing her..sighhs. & also the rest of LIARSH. Oh well. It was never meant to be, I guess.

So anw, went of at 3 & sent Nal home.
Baby&I went off from there. We bussed home to chg to our proper clothes for the evening. Then, trained to town. He was telling me about the restaurant that he booked. I asked him where we were going to have our dinner at. He figured that I wanted Carousel. HAHA, smart ass. Unfortunately, he told me that it was fully booked but he did booked at another restaurant. So yeah, I was a lill dissappointed but hey, its okay. HAHA. So I started to dig out from him where we were heading to. He just said that it was at town area, he didnt want to tell me what it is. We had sometime to kill before our dinner at 6.30pm. We window-shopped, & he took me to the bustop so we could bussed to the place. He was like,'There's 190 at this bustop rite?' I didnt quite know what he was up to. So yeah, we were at the bustop, waited for like a minute there when he pulled me to the building behind us. & that
was when I know he tricked me!!
Or more like surprised me. IDIOT. He always has his way of surprising me. HAHAHA. We were
gonna have dinner at Carousel!! Im was jumping up & down, saying,'I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!'
HAHAHA. Retarded.
Reported to the waitress with the name list of guests, & Baby's name was the first one, Mr. Johan. HAHA! We were sent to our seats & we settled down. I took in the whole surrounding in awe. I was still in shock that we were actually there. Goshhh, it was magical.
After awhile, we got up & walked around, took our food bit by bit. The whole experienece was just priceless. The atmosphere was great & the company was better(: Ohoh! & the waitress who
attended to us was Sofya too! HAHA! how cool is that? But im not sure how it's spelt. hehe. During that 2hours plus that we spent there, I knocked Baby's glass of water & thank God he
wasnt drenched by it. It was embarrassing la. I wanted to go home right then, but Baby was being so sweet. He reassured me that it was okay & he was smiling
taking my hand in his. Sighs..Im really lucky to have him(':
& after stuffing ourselves up, we started to have this conversation of those old memories we shared. & I got to know some things that I didnt. It was full of emotions having
that convo with Baby. We took each other through the journey we had been in together for almost 3 years now..
Magical.

After dinner, we went to Clark Quay & just spent a quiet time
together by the river. Last time to camwhored for the day, talked, laughed & then cabbed home.
HAHA. Baby cheated the cab driver off the fare since Citycabs always take their passengers by
the longest way ever. HAHA! Baby sent me up & took his bag, & the blissful day ended there..

Even if we arent meant to be together forever, I just have to say that Im grateful for having to spend these wonderful moments with him. I am thankful that God has let me share a part of my life with such a great human. I can only keep praying that he will be my fate, my future husband, the father to our children, my true love.

Thank you Baby,
I love you & always will(':

Wall models;

Our outfits match(x

Carousel dinner;

Clark Quay;

& I hope there will be many more to come. Insyaallah.

Flu bug attack!

Friday went out with Izie & Kel to town. We chilled at Mac Cafe, walked for awhile at Zara & then went off at 5.45pm. Got to spend like only 3 hours with them, but it was worth it(: Missed Mr Haikel so much.
OHOH! Btw, we were waiting for 143 at the bustop opp market && guess who we saw???
ONG CHIA YEE(:
I was SO damn happy to see her please??? Like SERIOUSLY. haahaha! I missed her so much)': Sighhs...
So we took the same bus as her. She was heading to Vivo to meet Sammy. *ahem ahem*
I know your secret Sam!!
hehe.

We camwhored quite a lot. The pics are all with Izie. So yeah.
Before I went out of my house I was caught with a flu. Was drowsy the whole day q-_-p
Came back to WC with Kel from town & it got worse. Met up with Baby since he wanted to send the Grease movie that he downloaded for me. Thanks Baby(: I grew weaker & fever hit me.
So I went home around 8pm & trained home.

The next day, Im still down with a fever. & Baby is just so sweet to drop by after work. But he's an idiot too. HAHA. I told him to msg me when he's in the train since I was gna sleep after taking in my meds. But he didnt! I was awoken by a knock on the door. & me in my unkept hair, sleepy faced..I greeted him. HAHA! embarrassing okay? UGH. But hey, he was still smiling when he saw me(: HAHA!

Im feeling much better now.
Cant wait for these few days!!
hehe(:

& he's my sweetest drug.

AT LAST, I can upload the rest of the vids. YIPEEEE~!(:

Well beautiful people, enjoy these vids of Jo&Sof's embarrassing moments. HAHA! But wth, We had a BLAST!! WOOHOO(x

Come on people, laugh your ass off! HAHA!(:

hehe. Honestly, this is the only man on this face of this earth who didnt run away from me when Im all wierd, embarrassing & disgusting but instead he joins in! HAHA! He is really one in a million, & im really thankful for him(':

Thank you Allah, thank you for the precious people that you have given me & the people who are there for me whenever wherever. I treasure them to bits & pieces even if they hate me or they love me. I love my friends & foes, regardless. Really. I love you & you & YOU!!

haha! Im getting all sentimental now. Wait, I always am. HAHA! Anw, Baby said the most sweetest thing to me yesterday. We were video calling at night when he got back home. HAHA. Yeah, i noe. We couldnt get enuf of eachother. He gave me a set of headphones & an attached microphones to it. HAHA! I feel like a pilot wearing that :D Thanks Baby.

So anw, I was watching Taylor Swift's 'Love Story' music vid & was asking him that if a girl like Taylor came across his path, what will he do? I mean Taylor's EFFING HOT! She's really beautiful. So I was wondering what he will do or react.

& this is what he said, 'but im with you..i waited two years. I cud have found a blonde girl, I mean theres an international skl rite in west coast. Tall, blonde,hot, u noe the skl rite? Heck, theres a japanese school -.-'. Short skirts? High socks? Fantasy? But thats just lust, desire. I wanted love & i found it when i met u..I love you..my one and only..(": I really do..'

I was so speechless..really I was. HAHA! Its not everyday that a guy confesses that he needed love more than lust. & again, Im thankful(':

I love you Baby..(':

Okay, to begin with;

I PASSED ALL OF MY MODULES!!!(:

Thank you God, Syukur.

I am REALLY thankful. REALLY. I cant expressed it more. Goshhh. && my GPA improved!!!(: Im feeling so relieved & happy that my hard work has paid off(:

&& congrats to my frens too! We all made it to year 2!!(:

Anw, Baby came over today. HAHA. Ordered pizza & watched movie in his new lappie. huhu. Went out with him yesterday too since he has off days for yest & today. Suppose to be 2mr too but he gta cover for his colleague.

Today ended with a BANG! HAHAHA. damn fun making vids with him(: Im gna post them out. HAHA! enjoy people(: pardon me for my big hair & crazy self. HAHA! btw, my Baby looks GAY! which he is not..or is he??0.O HAHAHAHA!

theres still more. but the uploading stuff is being a BITCH!!

trying to upload it again.

DIVE IN BITCHES

Work today!(:
Missed poolside soooo much! Especially my colleagues. huhu(x The first faces I saw were Kok Eng & Agus! HAHA! & the first thing I asked was,"Is Alan working?" HAHAHA! But sadly, he wasnt. & we were stuck with Agus. DAMN IT.
OHOH! & my dear Krista was working toooooo~! hehehe. So happy la please?(:
Chatted, laughed, joked..HAHA, thats what we poolsiders do half the time. Thank God today isnt that busy despite it being a weekend.
HOPING THAT IT'LL RAIN TOMORROW!
muahahaha!
&& Alan is working tomorrow! Yipeeee~!(:

Hearing Krista's stories about her & Farhan is just so touching. HAHA. I mean, I really can sense the sincerity in Farhan. Im really happy for her(:
We were talking something about meeting up with our boyfriends everyday. Some of us will prefer to not meet for quite sometime & then when they meet, they will have the sense of miss towards each other. & the rest of us will prefer to meet every single day if possible.
Even if its been 1day of not meeting up with your significant other, you will feel the sense of emptiness in you. & you wont get bored of seeing the same face over & over again.
Do you guys think that that's real love?
I mean you wont get enough of him/her. & thats good right? You would want to spend your everyday with your particular half. & just being in her/his company makes you feel a sense of content & happiness.
That is real love right?

Ah wtf. I dont know what Im saying.
Whatever.

OHOHOH! Guess who I saw?!?!?!?!
A-B-U-Z-A-R!!!!(:
huhu(x
I was crossing the road, on my way to Orchard MRT && in the middle of crossing the road, my eyes were locked onto this green guy. HAHA. I was thinking to myself,'Is that Abuzar?' && wtf! IT IS! hahaha! He was with his girlfriend. Shld be ar. They werent holding hands leh? Whatever it is, I remembered something from his FaceBook profile, 'Murni-fied'. HAHA! Murni is his gf's name. Cool huh?
I dont know why Im so excited over that word q-_-p
ANYWAY,
we waved. HAHA. clearly, both of us were in disbelief.
I was just thinking of him at work & I saw him. HAHA! I really miss working with him. & also Naseer, Reena & Peace. Sighhs..oh well, maybe I'll try to plan an outing tgt. I hope its even possible :S

Planned to go out with Baby after work today, but he cldnt make it.
Can only see him on wed...
Even if I met him yesterday, I didnt get to spend time with him. He was working. Izie&I chilled at Tully's yesterday. Brought our lappies & we served the nets & watched movies. HAHA. Nalyssa was there. She joined us too with Baby's new lappie. HAHA.

oh well..
all I need to do now is just be patient cuz Im running out of it. FCUK.
Be a supportive girlfren Sofff.
YES, I AM TRYING. But I get so impatient at times && these impulsive thoughts keeps ringing in my head. UGH.
Praying that God will give me patience..
I really need it.

Sahara Sentosa.

Went SENTOSA todayyyyy!!!!(:

heheheheheheheheheheheheheehehehehehe. So high liao(x

So met up with Kelly & Jiahui in the train & made our way to Sentosa. Bought snacks at 7-11 & off we go to Palawan! It was SO DAMN FREAKIN HOT! I couldnt take it seh! Those 2 girls tanned in the sun while I sat in a shady spot alone playing with Jiahui's PSP. HAHA! Pathetic, I know. I just dont want get darker la ok?

So anyway, Jiahui wanted to go 7-11. && there were these huge group of malay & chinese guys. A few of them wooing Jiahui & Kelly. HAHA! What can I say, they're hot stuffs xD So 2 guys walked up to us & asked for their numbers. && those 2 guys arent the ones who are interested in them but they are the friends of those ball-less guys. I dont understand, why dont guys just have the courage to ask themselves instead asking their friends for help? The second guy to walk up to us was a malay, && he was asking Jiahui for her number first. & then when Jaihui didnt want to, he was like 'ohok, how about you?', turning to Kelly. Like wtf. He think market is it?

I have to state a stand, Pure malay guys are the worst among all the races. Really. Not all la, but MOST of them. Its a shame really. Sighs...

So yeah, we packed our things & went to 7-11. Then found another spot for them to tan again. HAHA. Lucky there was shade beside them. HAHA. We spent till 2pm there & then washed up. After that, we went to the bridge! && made our way up to the tower. DAMN NICE SIA! huhu(x

Okay so, we went Vivo after. Jiahui went off first since she meeting her boyfriend. [Im jealous. HAHA.] Kelly&I had linner at LJS. Spent like 2hours there talking. HAHA! I like these kinda intimate moments with my friends(:

THANK YOU FOR THE DAY GIRLS!
I really had fun even thought i was stranded in that shady island instead of joining you guys in that scorching sun! HAHAHA! We should go out more often. I WANNA I WANNA I WANNA! xD

WOOHOOO~!(:

See how HOT the sun is?! UGH!

The girls are tanning,

& Im stranded here in the shade.

KELLY BODY BUILDER!! WOOHOO~! xD

JIAHUI(:

KELLY(:

I love this pic sia! very nice effect.

NICE RIGHT THE VIEW!!

Love this picture!! Thanks Kelly wahwah(:

forget the surroundings, I only see you.

HEYHO, LETS GO!

Spent today with my Baby~!(: hehe. So, we went to shop for decorations stuffs for our bagpacks. From Queensway to Far East, we travelled. Windowed-shop here & there, bought badges & iron-on thingys. Lunched at Sakura. The wanton noodle is officially no longer available): ugh. Oh well. Dining in with Baby is just the best! HAHA! He makes me laugh so hard please? Damn cute la. hehe(x We share the same wierdness in us(:

After Far East, went Wisma & Taka. We were killing time till it was time that I could take my pay from work. The cashier only opens at 4.30pm. So made our way to Shangrila & wanted to surprise Alan but he wasnt there. UGH. I want him to meet Baby but oh well, no fate. So went to collect my pay & then we took transport to Newton & then trained home.

Mom heated up the spagets that she cooked yesterday. So we had dinner at home, decorated our bags a lill & he had to go off.

I had fun, really(:

He's a great company one can have.
& he is my Baby(:

Only a few weeks away~!
WOOOHOOO!
cant wait to see you again Baby,
I love you(':