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so sleep alone tonight
She wants to be happy.
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Beseech
Don't judge me.
I'm touchy, so be nice.
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Old & wise. HELP!
Firstly,HAPPY 55th BIRTHDAY TO MY MOMMY! She's 55 & she looks like 30-40 plus. I guess those million bucks worth of skincare products worked their magic! hahaha. So went out with Baby today to buy mommy's present which is her fave food at Arab St & went take my pay. Every single time I take my pay when Im not working on that day, is just a chore. Must walk quite a distance to the hotel & if its cloudy or windy, its okay. But wth, its so HOT please.q-_-p Oh well. Everything's gna come to an end soon. Just look at the earth & the ppl living on this earth. Everything's topsy turvy & going all wrong. Sighhs.. Why am I being so wise all of a sudden? Shit, I feel old now. UGH. Idk why I feel such a way. Is everything starting bad or ending bad? Ive came across things which are just making me feel angry in a sad way. You know? UGH. I feel that alot is changing around me, I just chose ignore them all. I HATE CHANGES. Im not good at adapting, thats why when I have the people who are close to my heart, I couldnt let them go. Even if they hate me, I still chose to dwell on them & keep praying that they will actually take me in again. I miss those people..)": But one thing about changing is, sometimes to have something/someone back, you gotta change your own self. But Im confused, people say that it doesnt matter how bad you are, if you mean something to that person, he/she will love you no matter. & some people say that if you love that someone, you will want to change for the better for that person even if you wont be true to yourself anymore. So which should I choose? Who call the shots anw? Do you even know if the person you love will leave you if you dont change your ways? Do you know if the person doesnt even care how you are cuz they think that your flaws make you who you are & they love you for that? AM I EVEN MAKING ANY SENSE? I dont feel the excitement now. I feel numb. Blocking out all the feelings in me, its working perfectly. What if I am made without feelings? What will life be like? Bleakness I pressume. However, I bet its better than busting your head with all the problems you have, all the feelings thats needed to be sorted out. FUCK, I FEEL FUCKING OLD NOW. q-___-P Will you feel devastated if your significant other isnt there with you on your important day of the year? Or am I in the wrong feeling in such a way? All-in-all, Im thankful that I have friends around me who cares about me. Really. The only thing which will make me the happiest girl alive on an important day of mine, is just to be surrounded with the people whom I love very much. There's no need for presents, no need for celebrations. I just need hugs from each & every one of them & sharing that special day with them. Only Allah knows how much I meant that. I dont know what's in store for me 2mr. Ms izie-peezy's not gna spill! Im kinda nervous & scared? HAHA. I mean, she just told me to go out at 10am, to somewhere which she hasnt told me yet, & im gg there ALONE. I mean, Im not scared of gg anywhere alone, but it feels diferrent when someone asks you to go somewhere alone. You get it? I doubt so. HAHA. Shit. Im really nervous now/: So mysterious lor this girl. Walau. I just need to wait to find out. Shit, I should call the cops just in case. HAHA! |