Maybe if my heart's stops beating, it won't hurt this much.

Beseech

Don't judge me.

I'm touchy, so be nice.

affiliates

IZYAN HANISAH KAK ILLY SYUHADAH JOHAN NABEEL HERLEEN KELLY SHIYUN JIA HUI CHLOE MR PERRY LAI WEI JU HAIKEL SYAFIQAH KRISTA NAB ILLA
GORDON NALYSSA

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Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed
Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon.

what now?

"Im sorry.."

Funny how these 2 words can either make you or break you.

What do you do when everything falls apart? After all those days, months, years something terrible finally hit you. & the only one who's in deep shit is you & not anyone else.
They've got nothing to lose.
You're thankful that it finally came to a crash into reality. However, you feel that you have nowhere to go to. No shoulder to lean on to. Nobody that would understand you without being judged.
Where should you go then?
What should you do?
Life goes on, yes. But what if you have to lie to live?
What then?

All you could do is just say those 2 words..
But hell no, it wont bring back what was lost.

& with that 2 words,
you broke my heart into a million pieces.

Only God can help me now..

so long.

Im gonna go for awhile.

Until next time.

Take care of yourselves.

Much love,

Sof.

unexpected bump-ins.

Made my way to school at around 11.30pm, & thats when it starts to cramp up again. So decided to just continue my journey & will leave early for the day. Left school at 2.30pm & trained to clem. Baby was gna accompany me to the clinic. Otw in the train, guess who I met??? NASSER! I was reading a book, & it was one hell of a good book, I tell you. So anw, this guy came in & sat next to me. He knudged me a lill, I didnt look up since I thought it was some random guy doing it by accident, but when he knudged me the 2nd time, I saw him & was shocked. HAHA.
So we talked & caught up. & parted at Jurong. So good to see him again(:
Trained to clem & met up with Baby. Proceed to the clinic & waited for like an hour or so before we've got everything settled. && I have to pay the adult pricings from now on. Its really isnt fair. I mean whats the diff between a Poly student & a JC student. Why the price diff? Ugh.
So after that, we chilled at a Kaya toast shop for quite awhile & talked & talked & talked. HAHA. Every single second with him is worth it, even if we were have an arguement. Its always worth it(:
& after we parted at Clem control station, he was pointing to someone. I couldnt see who since it was kinda packed. & when I looked back again, it was KRISTA!! hehe. So I trained home with her. Caught up & hug here and there. HAHA. Miss her so much.
Its really hard to see your friend in pain. Especially when you know how it feels like to be in her situation. Sighs, all I can say is that a better one will come along. & we should learn from our mistakes. If there's fate then, he'll be yours. If not, just move on.
I know its easy for me to say than you actually doing it. But, thats all I can offer I guess. Im just glad that you seem to be strong in handling this. If Im in your shoes, I wouldnt know what to do, honestly/:
Oh well, thats life for us.

introvert.

PMS.
By these 3 words you can know how Im feeling right now.
PMS is nvr good. It always or maybe in most instances makes a girl go all moody & angry & stuff. & hell yeah, I was feeling so. I didnt have the mood to entertain customers. Just like those days at Poolside. Goshh, I miss that place. So yeah, work was a bitch since PMS is a bitch. First day, killer.

But luckily, there were things to do. Stocks finally came in after being held back in IM for like a week plus. Cant blame them cuz I heard they have alot of stuff to do. They're the Inventory Management btw. Not an easy task I must say. Its like fanancial plus stock count plus paper work & more paper work.

So stocks came in, pasted the price tags since IM didnt. Ming Yong & I tried to figure a way to stuff everything into the right places. Then after stocks, I had to return all the thumbdrives since new batches are coming in which are of diff prices. That's when things went to stress mode.

Before that, there was a customer coming in. A couple, I think. They were browsing around while Ming Yong & I were busy with our own stuff. We did acknowledge their entrance. After like 2mins, Ming Yong started to serve them. When they were making payment, I saw in the corner of my eyes, this girl was looking at our Customer Service prize that we won for last week. & she was like, 'not good'. Pointing the prize to the guy. Like wtf la. At least Ming Yong did entertain them right. CB. I would REALLY like to see her in our place.

So while I was filling in my stock return form, there was 1 surplus & 2 shortages. & one thumdrive cost like 30bucks?! By right, if there is any missing, we must bear the cost ourselves. Seriously, NYP is just $^%#*$#%. I mean, think about it. We students, pay for the school fees, work for the school with NO PAY, & plus bear the cost for any missing goods from our own pockets!
I know its for our own experiences. But whatever it is, Im just speechless of how absurd it can get.

I did know that my on hand stock doesnt tally with what is stated on the On-hand-stock list that the IM gave me. Im so screwed.
I hate school.
Dont feel like entertaining a soul for the moment.

is it me or is it...?

I hate afternoon shift. The time past so freakin slow laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. q-_-p Ugh. &&I cant go out after that since it's like so late. Shit school.

Anyway, met Baby after school yest. Had loads of fun even if I didnt get to spend quite a long time with him. He was my laughing gas for the day. haha! &&he made my headache go away. When he left, it came back. That headache was hell. Really hurts. & it keeps coming back out of the blue. It's like weighing my head down & keeps aching. Made me feel like fainting. Which Ive never did before. What does fainting feel like? Im curious. hehe.

So, we camwhored a lill. Its been ages since Ive camwhored la. Esp with him. I dont know why but it didnt came across my mind whenever Im with him or anyone. Unlike last time when I was so crazy about camwhoring with ppl. Moreover, Baby was the one who suggested it. haha! oh well, maybe I have alot to think or Im becoming into a plain boring person. Sighs..I feel that Im changing. Like I dont talk much around ppl, Im not laughing much, & Im not that crazy person that I was. Ugh. This sucks/:

fuck.

whats wrong with me?

ANYWAY, here are the pictures.

from Sat's flea. At CQ's mall.

loo is the best place to camwhore. haha.

& here's Baby & I;

we were posing for the cam but his hair poked his eyes.

that explains his expression. HAHA.

the more reason for him to CUT HIS HAIR!!!

THE ALMIGHTY SILVER BALL.

My oh-so cute Mooksy!

We're each other's complements for the day(:

my hp cam quality sucks.
pardon me.

My devil lightbulb(:

I miss him alr...

love makes a poet out of everyone.

Basically, Ive spent my weekends with people that I love(:
Saturday went flea with Kel && HANISAH! Omg la! Its been 4months since Ive last seen her. Gosh. Its REALLY GOOOOOOOD to see her again. Im thankful(: So we went to Homeclub for flea & then we just walked around after. We did camwhored but Mr Haikel needed his cam the next day. So it seems that we wont get our pictures any time soon, or maybe NEVER. Haha! nvm la. Memories are more precious(: & I love them.

My Sunday was the best. Ive got to spend time with Baby. Its been like forever since we've got time to be spending the whole day with just the 2 of us. We stayed home, watched movies..& thats when mom called from work. She asked me to buy her food, all the way at Arab St. Since it was Mother's Day, I dragged myself together with Baby & bought her fave Nasi Briyani. Took an hour & then we were back home. We cooked pasta, teled & just be in each other's arms the whole morning & afternoon. We actually planned to go to 'THE BRIDGE' in the late afternoon. It was cloudy in the morning but then it got so hot when it was actually time that we were sppose to be heading out. q-_-p oh well.
So we ended up playing games. HAHA. First we played CS, which he kicked my ass in. He damn idiot, keep surprising me & killing me out of nowhere. ASS. HAHA. Then we changed to L4D. I was watching the intro to the game & Baby was helping to modify some things in my lappie. The door was opened, & out of the blue, a lady came infront of the house gate. She really looked damn scary, I always see her around. She was telling us about not being able to open her door so she needed our help. Baby & I was looking at one another, with the screaming & groaning of zombies in the background. She looks like the witch in L4D. No joke. She was talking & there was bubbles forming in her mouth. YUCK. She takes drugs, btw.
Baby finally talked to her & we went down to her hse at the 6th. I was watching her every move. When we were at the front, Baby opened the door after one or two jerk. Then she was thanking him, tapping him at the shoulder. I was watching her & she caught my eyes, & thanked me too.
I didnt think that an old lady, drug-abused, still has raging hormones.
Whatever it is, Im kinda scared to be going around my house area alone. Theres so many wierd people around. I miss my Teck Whye house..sighs, everything's can be gone with a blink of an eye.
When mom reached home, we ate pasta again while mom ate her briyani. She couldnt stop talking. haha! Stressed woman at work, so gta understand her situation & just nod at everything she said. HAHA. Baby & I went to Bugis Coffee Bean at ard 6. Mom didnt allow me to go out, but I being stubborn that I am still refuse to listen to her. hehs. She gave in, in the end.
So Baby & I trained to Bugis & we watched American Pie on his lappie. HAHA. He got the whole freakin series of it la. While watching, Ron called me, suddenly. I was like kinda puzzled & shocked. I answered & at the same time I saw him right across me, outside of Coffee Bean, waving. HAHA! Make me panic only. So we waved to him & Mus as they went off with their friends. Baby & I continued watching till 8pm & went off to bus home.

After that day, Im emotionally attached to this human. My love for him has grown & I kept thinking of the littlest things that he does. From the way he smiles, the way he irritates me, of how he doesnt get mad after how hard I bite him, of him not laughing at me but instead help me up when I literally fall..he really is one hell of a guy. I just have to keep praying for him to be my fate. Only God knows how I will be when my vision crash before my eyes..

But I have to accept whatever comes. I have to.

As you know, love cant be balanced between 2 souls.
& when you feel in such a way that I am, Ive realized that;
My greatest fear is loving a significant other more than he loves me..

Shout ur lungs out!

OMGOMGOMGGGGGG!

Kelly [MD] has the phone that I want REEEEEEEEEEEEEAL BADLY): Ive never wanted a phone so badly like this one before.

It all started when Kelly's phone rang & her msg ringtone was Kim Possible tune. HAHA. Cute sia. Thenthen, she went on msging. I LOVE THE SOUND OF THE KEYPADS LAAAAA!!!! walau. She showed me the phone & I fell in love with it in an instant. SHITS. Now Im wanting it badly.

I hope either mom or dad gna buy it for me. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

ugh.

ANW, a shout out to my dear Izyan;

HAPPY FREAKING 18th BIRTHDAY!!!!!

may all ur wishes and dreams come true(:

Have fun with ur fam!

MUACKS!